Are You That Stupid Woman Who Thinks the Government Won't Let You Say "Merry Christmas"?

Are You That Stupid Woman Who Thinks the Government Won't Let You Say "Merry Christmas"?

This so-called “War on Christmas” is one of many contrived threats to America that has Christians circling the manger. I’m here to tell you that the only threat to Christmas is spoiled Eggnog.

Donald Trump can put a thousand Christmas trees on his stage and a flashing “Merry Christmas” sign on his podium, but that does not make him the savior of Christmas. No one was ever out to steal your holiday or your right to observe it as you see fit.

Nor can Donald Trump force Macy’s employees to wish their customers a Merry Christmas. They will, as they have always done, comply with company policy.

This past April, CNN’s Michael Smerconish sat down with a panel of Pennsylvania voters switching their allegiance from left to right (Democrat to Republican). You might say they were giving up on democracy.

Responding to a query about why these erstwhile Democrats decided to vote for Donald Trump, one very dull-witted woman proudly announced that with Trump as president, she would be able to “honestly say Merry Christmas.”

image: Mary Lou Zimmer, seated, far right

Mary Lou Zimmer, seated, far right

If you’re wondering what it means to “honestly say Merry Christmas,” you’re not alone. Is there a way to say it dishonestly?

We may never know that answer to that, but when asked who was stopping her from saying, “Merry Christmas,” this woman, whose name may or may not be Mary Lou Zimmer responded, “The government.”

Smerconish was uncharacteristically speechless as he stared at Zimmer, wondering if he could believe his own ears. Only Smerconish knows what crossed his mind at that very moment, but I suspect that one thought might have been, “Whose government?”

Personally, I’d plunk Ms. Zimmer into the basket of folks wearing tin foil hats to prevent aliens or government agents from reading their minds.

There was a time not too long ago that you could not purchase a 9mm (nine millimeter) bullet for love or money. People were buying them up and stockpiling enough for six lifetimes.

Now, I know you’re going to ask why and I’m going to tell you.

Wayne LaPierre and other proxies for the National Rifle Association had convinced a very gullible segment of our fellow Americans that Barack Hussein Obama was coming for their bullets.

For people not driven by paranoia, buying a couple of boxes of ammo on range day became an impossibility. If you had enough guns, you could just throw them at the targets, but that got expensive.

It’s a time tested way to get money and votes. Make up a threat and then leap to the rescue. People with an agenda and something to gain always seem to have a fix for things that aren’t broken.

Yesterday I was at an emissions testing station, a Secretary of State facility, the post office and several stores. Everywhere I went, I departed with my customary, “Merry Christmas” and received the same holiday wish in response.

Just as it’s always been.

Network TV has been filled with holiday specials this past week, all of them replete with Christmas carols and all of the decorations and wishes befitting the Christmas holiday.

This morning, as always Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough did their pre-Christmas show in their pajamas, sitting in front of a fireplace adorned with Christmas stockings.



Mary Lou Zimmer, we’re going to give you one more chance. Close your eyes and think about it for a moment and then tell us what you know in your heart to be true:

Who the hell told you not to say, “Merry Christmas”?

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