Donald Trump Didn't Just Make a Great Deal, He Made the Best One in History

Donald Trump Didn't Just Make a Great Deal, He Made the Best One in History
Illustration: Andrew Rae

Donald Trump won his bid for the presidency, but he may see it in a different light. Everything we know about the the Donald and everything he says about himself is a tribute to his great deal making prowess.

Why would the presidency be anything more than a deal making opportunity for Trump?

This would be the best deal of the billionaire’s life, perhaps the best deal in the history of the world. To his chagrin though, Trump will never have a deal as sweet as that of his idol, Vladimir Putin, who has free reign to loot his country and kill his enemies with impunity.

Let’s hope Trump never gets that kind of power.

Some estimate that Trump spent about $60 Million of his own money to get himself elected. Nothing to sneeze at, even in allergy season.

My own cynical belief is that a forensic accounting might show that Trump only spent other people’s money, which is his specialty. We may never see those details, just as we will never see his tax returns.

For argument’s sake, let’s say that Donald took $100 Million out of his pocket to fund his campaign. While the risk to reward wasn’t as great as buying a lottery ticket, the chances of winning were much greater.

A $2.00 Powerball ticket could earn a jackpot winner $200 Million. That’s a pretty hefty return. I can’t tell you exactly how hefty because that would require hefty math skills.

Even with that kind of return, it’s still a pretty crappy investment because your chances of winning are about 180 million to 1.

Trumps ROI (return on investment) isn’t going to be as dramatic as a winning Powerball ticket, but he had a 50/50 shot at the brass ring. At this point it is all but assured.

“What does a president get for $100 Million,” asks Richard Feder of Ft. Lee, NJ.

That’s a good question and the answer is that we can only guess. The rewards could be staggering, but may remain hidden for generations.

Trump inquired about security clearance for his kids Huey, Dewey and Louie, although he says that he didn’t. It’s almost a moot point.

How will he maintain his promised separation between his administration and Trump, Inc? How will all that information flowing to Huey, Dewey and Louie help make America great again?

The answers are that there will be NO separation between the Trump administration and Trump, Inc. and making America great again will soon become the most ironic campaign slogan in the history of American politics.

Don, Jr. said that he and siblings will be running a blind trust for his father. If he thinks that’s a blind trust, he’s an idiot.

First of all, a blind trust can not be run by your children. It has to be run by a third party with no interaction between the trustee and the creator of the trust.

In any case, it would be impossible for Trump to put his current real estate empire into a blind trust. It would be like putting an apple into a brown paper bag and then pretending you don’t know what’s in the bag.

Trump showed his hand last week when he met with Japan’s prime minister, Shinzo Abe.  Present in the room was Trump’s daughter, Ivanka. Noticeably absent from the meeting were any members of the American press.

We’ll talk about the implications of shutting out the press next week. I’m already over my projected word count.

Beside the fact that Trump’s kids will be running his business, Ivanka has her own international business concerns and should not have presidential level access to foreign leaders.  Not even on take-your-daughter-to-work day.

Even if a blind trust were possible, Trump would have already violated that agreement by meeting with his Indian business partners last week.

With the press having limited access to the president, we will have no idea what he’s doing. With a free flow of confidential, global information flowing into Trump, Inc, Huey, Dewey and Louie will have unprecedented ability to make great deals worldwide.

Just one pro-Russia policy enacted by a President Trump could earn Trump, Inc a choice piece of Moscow at a fire-sale price.

That, my friends is how the guy who went to Washington to end self-dealing will become President Self-Dealer. Maybe he won the lottery, after all.

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