Have it your way: Blogapalooz-Hour XXXIV

Have it your way: Blogapalooz-Hour XXXIV
image: causticsodapodcast.com

It’s the last Wednesday of the month and this is Blogapalooz Hour, right in the middle of the Democratic National Convention.

I’ve been watching presidential nominating conventions for a long time, but this is different.  We just nominated a woman to be the Democratic candidate for President of the United States.  This is really something.

Eight years ago they nominated a black man, but this seems even bigger.  Maybe I wasn’t paying as much attention to the color of the man back then as I was to the man himself.  He was, after all still a man.

In fairness, the Republicans, too departed from their usual selection of white men for the position, they nominated an orange man.

Anyway, I just got the following email from the owner-operator of ChicagoNow:

Welcome to ChicagoNow’s Evening Blogapalooz-Hour!

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to publish a post in one hour. Here is tonight’s challenge:

‘Write about one or more of your food/eating preferences or habits that you or others may find unusual or quirky.’

The point of this exercise is to do it no matter what so don’t bail. Be creative, enjoy the process. Use words, images or video. Whatever you need to tell your story.

Be aware of the time. No matter when you finish, please wait until 10 p.m. to publish. Above all, please respect the deadline.”

The first thing I like to do is to find a featured image that embodies the gist of my message.  I do it because I think it makes a blog look more professional and I do it because I know there are those out there who just look at the pictures.

That was fun, I hope you like that picture up there.

By the way, Tim Kaine is giving his acceptance speech now and I’m trying to read his lips because I have the TV on mute.

What I consider to be the strangest part of my eating habits is the fact that about 70% of my daily caloric intake occurs from the time I finish dinner until the time I go to sleep.  I know this problem affects a lot of people and I promise tonight will be the end of my nocturnal grazing.

Or tomorrow night.  Then, again, I think you’re always supposed to start a diet on a Monday.  Why spoil the weekend?

If you’d like to read an advertisement about putting an end to binge eating at night, click HERE.

The thing that other people seem to find so unusual is the fact that I don’t eat meat.  Rest assured, if you invite me over to your house and you’re serving barbecued skirt steaks, I’ll eat them.  I’ll probably have seconds.

I’m not fanatic about it, although I do not think our digestive tracts are designed for an abundance of red meat.  Our intestines are way too long for that.

If you didn’t know (why would you?) the average human has about 26 feet of intestines.  By comparison, big cats (lions and tigers and pumas…oh, my) have just enough intestine to get from the bottom of their stomachs out to their poop chutes.

Figure about 5 or 6 feet for a 200 lb lion.  Why is that important, you ask?  Good question!

As you may have heard, meat spoils quickly.  It’s a good idea to get it out of your body in short order, especially if you’ve gotten it from a short order cook.

My point in this conversation, though is that I just don’t like meat.  Never have.  I only stop at Mickey D’s in the winter for their hot chocolate.  They make it with real chocolate syrup.

I can’t remember the last time I had Quarter Pounder, with or without cheese.  It’s been at least decades.  I’ve never even been to a White Castle.

I’m pretty sure I never ordered a steak in a restaurant, not even at Gibsons, Morton’s or Sullivan’s.  If they don’t have fish, I have a salad.  I love salads.

When we lived downtown, my wife liked to get an occasional hunk of beef over at Lawry’s The Prime Rib, where they would wheel over a cart loaded with meat, fat and grease.  They had a great spinning salad, sometimes they had fish.

When I tell people that I don’t eat meat, they tend to react incredulously.  That means they don’t believe me.  But it’s true and it’s been true ever since I can remember.  It just doesn’t do it for me.

At home we eat a lot of fish and chicken.  Sometimes it’s just salads and veggies.  Pretty much the same thing when we go out.  We know all the best places to get a good salad.  Email me if you want a list.

On one of my social media pages I list my religious preference as organic non-panic.  That translates loosely into, “eat healthy, stay calm.”  I once owned a restaurant right down from Double Door where our motto was, “eat no evil.”  See the theme?

I’m a bit of a split personality when it comes to food.  I am about 70% successful at avoiding most of the bad stuff.  Chemicals, colors, processed food, fat, fried, etc.  It’s the 30% of the time when I’m not successful that causes all the problems.

Here’s the question, though.  Why is it that if you try to eat good stuff and avoid the bad stuff, they call you a health nut?  Why is it it nuts to try to eat healthy?  And why is eating nuts so gosh darn healthy?

Well, that’s it for me tonight.  President Obama is going to be talking soon and I don’t want to miss that.

I hope you got a few chuckles out of tonight’s little exercise but, even if you didn’t, you gotta admit that guy eating up there is pretty revolting.

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