David Letterman comes out of retirement to deliver one more Top 10 list

Recently retired talk show host, David Letterman came out of retirement over the weekend because…well, he simply couldn’t resist.

Letterman joined comics Martin Short and Steve Martin at a comedy show in San Antonio, Texas and expressed his deep regret over retiring before he found out that Donald Trump would be running for president.

In true Letterman style, Dave delivered the following Top 10 entitled, “Interesting Facts About Donald Trump.”

10. “That thing on his head was the gopher in ‘Caddyshack.'”

9. “During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name.”

8.  “Donald Trump looks like the guy in the lifeboat with the women and children.”

7. “He wants to build a wall? How about building the wall around that thing on his head.”

6. “Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for some delusional [reason]. Oh, no, wait, that’s me.”

5. “Donald Trumps weighs 240 pounds, 250 with cologne.”

4. “Donald Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is free-range.”

No. 3 was a three-way tie: “Send him to Texas,” “If president, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving” and “That’s not a hairdo, it’s a wind advisory.”

2. “Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he’s starring in a new movie titled ‘No Amigos.'”

1. “Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass.”

Subscribe to the Chicago Board of Tirade

* You will never get SPAM
* Your email address will never be sold or given away
* You will only receive emails on days I post.
* You can unsubscribe at any time
* You can contact me anytime at: RJ@bobabrams.net

* Just type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button.

Leave a comment