Deflategate, Bridgegate and the mothers of all Gates, Water- and Bill

Deflategate, Bridgegate and the mothers of all Gates, Water- and Bill
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A 139-page report, filed by attorney Ted Wells says, in essence that “it is more probable than not” that New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady knew that his balls were being deflated.

I mean, c’mon, a guy knows things like that.  Do we really need a 139-page report to tell us?

While there was no smoking gun or incontrovertible evidence, neither is there a need for proof beyond a reasonable doubt.  After all, we only suspect those guys of playing with their balls, not killing Santa Claus.

New Jersey governor and presidential hopeful, Chris Christie weighed in on the Wells report today and that can add serious weight to any issue.

Feeling exonerated by the fact that everyone in his office was indicted-except him, Christie brought Tom Brady into the magic tent of it’s-them-not-me.   As Hogan’s Heroes’ Sergeant Schultz used to say, “I know nothing.”

Or as President Reagan often said, “I don’t remember that.”

In doing so, Christie bolstered both their cases.  Now all he’s got to do is get the rest of us to turn on our suspension of disbelief, like we do when we watch Star Wars.

There’s other similarities between Bridgegate and Deflategate.  Both involved a bending of the rules to win the game.  Both involved the subordinates following directives, explicit or otherwise and insulating the “big guy” from blame.

Both rely on plausible deniability.

Watergate wasn’t an attempt at winning anything, per se, more of an exercise in paranoia and dirty tricks.  Similar to the other gates, it was the supporting cast-all the president’s men , so to speak who went to jail.

All Nixon had to do was abdicate his throne.  Err….resign his presidency.

Speaking tonight at Salem State University, Tom Brady said that he wasn’t prepared to comment on the whole deflated ball thing, citing the fact that the Wells report had only been out for 30 hours.

Can’t really expect a $10 Million-a-year,  NFL quarterback to be able to digest 139 pages and formulate an opinion in just 30 hours.

None of this has anything to do with Bill Gates.  Not exactly.  In 1994 Apple accused Microsoft of using overlapping parts of the Apple graphic user interface (GUI) for Windows 2.0.

Gates got past it, Brady will, too.

One of Deflategate’s main talking points is whether or not the deflated balls contributed to the Pats beating the Colts, or anyone else, for that matter.

As with all cover-ups, there’s always the matter of who knew what and when.

As a once-a-year football fan, it seems to me that any professional football player who touches an under-inflated football should know it’s under-inflated.  Especially a quarterback.

I saw a bunch of non-football types on cable sitting around a table, squeezing footballs.  It looked like some of them had never touched a football before, but every one of them was able to tell the difference between the football inflated to the NFL standard of 12-1/2 to 13-1/2 pounds per square inch and the football with 2 pounds less air.

You’d think that the referee should have noticed it, but Tom Brady did.

I get it.  There’s big money at stake.  And a big ring.  We’re a culture that celebrates winning and that leads to winning at all costs.  Whether it’s steroids, deflating a football or spying on the opposition, it’s all good.

Until it isn’t.

Whether or not it made a difference in that fateful game back in January-or any other game-isn’t really the point.  Someone being offside or roughing the kicker or grabbing a facemask might not make a difference in the outcome of a game, but they’re against the rules.

Unlike life, games have rules.  Otherwise, you can’t play.  In football, when someone breaks a rule, one of the guys in striped shirts throws out a piece of yellow cloth called a penalty flag.

In this case, the penalty flag comes in the form of a 139-page report.  The only question now is whether or not NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is going to deflate Tom Brady’s balls.

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