Francis Cardinal George said that it was impossible for two homosexuals to consumate a marriage

Francis Cardinal George said that it was impossible for two homosexuals to consumate a marriage

Cardinal George’s sister, Margaret said that she was surprised that her brother went so quickly.  She said that he, himself thought that he would last longer.

Apparently, that wasn’t God’s plan.

As civilized folk, we’re loathe to speak ill of the dead.  Instead, we lionize, deify and extoll them.

If I’m being pressed for the truth, I would have to admit that Cardinal George wasn’t my favorite Chicagoan.  Afflicting him with polio may be an indicator that he wasn’t God’s, either.

I liked Cardinal Bernardin.  He seemed like a good guy, not someone who thought he was the Terminator, sent from Heaven.

I’m always skeptical of those, of the cloth or otherwise who devote too much time railing against gay people.  As Shakespeare said, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

We could have paraphrased that, but if the dress fits…

In a final letter, Cardinal George said that while the Church welcomes gays, they couldn’t marry because it was physically impossible for them to consummate their marriage.  He even made a point of clarifying remarks made by Pope Francis, which the Cardinal seemed to feel were too friendly to the gay community.

As a non-Catholic, it seems bizarre to me that a guy who took an oath of celibacy should be telling folks what, exactly constitutes a consummated marriage.  The two things seem incompatible to me.

Then again, so does taking an oath of poverty and living in a lavish mansion.

You may be surprised to know that there are “happily married,”  heterosexual couples who have never had sex of any kind.  While that may not be our idea of “happily married,” we have to acknowledge their existence.  It may not be our way of living, but it’s definitely one way of living.

When Cardinal George said that gay couples couldn’t consummate a marriage, he was most probably talking about the specific act of penile-vaginal intercourse.  While he probably had the missionary position in mind, as a graduate of Our Lady of the Snows Seminary, he may have allowed an exemption for doggy style.

To me, that’s hubris of the worst kind.  How is it that a man could be against oral and/or anal sex between consenting adults, but think nothing of it between a priest and child?  Even the most devout among you must realize that when it came to pedophile priests, Cardinal George did his best Bernardo impression.

He was most outspoken and obsessed about gay rights, gay marriage, gay parades and maybe even Gay Paree .  Not so much about the kids.

What, exactly is the brouhaha about gays?  Jesus never condemned gays.  He did condemn divorce, yet I couldn’t find a single instance of the Cardinal voicing that condemnation.

The Cardinal was not only dedicated to preventing gays from getting married in a Catholic church, he wanted to prevent them from getting married anywhere in Illinois.  You queers should be thankful that his reach did not extend beyond the Land of Lincoln.

What is it about homosexuality that is such a lightning rod for those interested in what everyone else is doing in their bedroom?

Michelle Bachman and her ever-so-light-in-his-loafers husband, Marcus run some kind of day camp to straighten out gays.  As if.

The late Reverend Fred Phelps, whose name has appeared in this blog many times was one of the better known crusaders against homosexuality.  He dedicated his entire family and the Westboro Baptist Church to making other people miserable, all in the cause of his ill-conceived, self-imposed, anti-gay mission from God.

For all any of us know, Sodom may exist right next door.  You may never ask your neighbors what they do in their bedroom, but the couple you’ve known for years and had in your back yard for barbeques could be on a strict regimen of oral and anal sex.  Screw the regular kind, so to speak.

This all might seem blasphemous to you and I’m sure a few of you will be compelled to tell me that I’m going to Hell.  I can save you the time, that’s been my plan all along.  As Billy Joel said, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.

And if Billy is right about only the good dying young, I may be writing this sacrilege long after you’re gone.

For any of our brave warriors who came back from Afghanistan or Iraq with impaired genitals, do not seek out a Catholic church if you are planning to get married.  It’s penile-vaginal penetration or the highway.

And if you’re too old to get it up, but still want to get married, plan on spending the winter of your days living in sin.  The Cardinal will be watching.

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