Rudy Giuliani is A) An idiot B) A racist C) Fuckin nuts D) All of the above

In his latest proclamation from crazy land, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani  said that he would prosecute for perjury anyone whose grand jury testimony in Ferguson, Missouri conflicted with police officer Darren Wilson’s account of the shooting of Michael Brown.

Ostensibly, the basis for said prosecution would be that their testimony did not align with Officer Wilson’s testimony.  Imagine that, conflicting testimony before a grand jury.

This is another one that begs so many questions and makes my head hurt just to think about it.

For now, we’re going to forget about the highly unusual grand jury proceedings conducted by Ferguson Prosecutor Robert McCulloch and the way he pressed his thumb on the scale of justice.

Let’s just assume that it was a regular grand jury convened by an impartial prosecutor and conducted the way 99.99% of all grand juries are conducted.

Whether they’re called to give testimony before a grand jury or during the course of any civil or criminal trial, witnesses can be expected to do one of several things.  One, and maybe more likely than not is that they’re going to lie.  Witness lie all the time.  Almost none are prosecuted for perjury.

Many witnesses will, at least attempt to tell the truth.  Most of us attempt to tell the truth from time to time, but truth can be a funny thing.  Our recollection of truth tends to be colored by things like our memory, our bias and our experience.

Eyewitnesses are notoriously unreliable.

For reasons known only to the guy who used be known as America’s Mayor-he really should have kept his mouth shut after that-Darren Wilson’s testimony before the grand jury should be taken as gospel.  The pure and unadulterated truth.  Nothing but the truth.   Anyone who disagrees with St. Wilson is a liar and a blasphemer and should prosecuted and put to death.

Since Michael Brown was only a few blocks from his home, it’s not surprising that many of the witnesses called before the grand jury were Brown’s neighbors.  According to Giuliani, this in itself is motivation to lie and proof of their perjury all rolled into one.

In Rudy Giuliani’s assessment of the testimony given before the grand jury, a man facing the possibility of being charged with murder has no motive to lie.  A man who, as part of his job as a police officer has been taught how to testify is to be believed.  A man who has gone over and discounted all the possible scenarios that didn’t play out should be taken at his word.

Or is it just that white men don’t lie?  Or commit crimes.  White men, like Bernie Madoff, John Wayne Gacy or the the seven tobacco company presidents who testified under oath that nicotine was not addictive.

It’s possible that Darren Wilson believes his story.  It’s possible that he believes that Michael Brown looked like a demon and that he-Officer Wilson-felt like a 5-year old holding onto Hulk Hogan.  It’s possible that he-Officer Wilson-asked himself if it was OK for him to shoot Michael Brown.

It’s possible that it’s all true.  It just doesn’t seem all that likely.

While Officer Wilson’s face appeared red, it definitely did not look like he was hit by a 280-lb guy.  Nor did he explain why his face was bruised on the right side, when Brown would have been outside his window on the left side of his car.

As for the way Officer Wilson described Michael Brown’s actions on that fateful morning, let’s just say that I would need to see the video before being persuaded that Wilson’s account was accurate.

The point is, I wasn’t there.  I really don’t know what happened or who is telling the truth about it.  I do know, however that it doesn’t make any sense at all to assume that one person, whatever his race or job is telling the truth and that everyone else is lying, whatever their race might be.

I also know that Rudy Giuliani wasn’t there, either.  Then again, Giuliani hasn’t been all there for a while.

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