Archive for November 2014

5 reasons to skip Thanksgiving dinner and 5 useable excuses

Reasons to skip Thanksgiving dinner: 1.  Get a 60″ TV today at Walmart for just $100 2.  Crazy cousin Eddie got a concealed carry permit 3.  Takes a month to recover from touch football game 4.  Aunt Martha won’t stop bitching about Obamacare 5.  Stuffing – nuff said Useable excuses: 1.    Toilet keeps overflowing,... Read more »

Rudy Giuliani is A) An idiot B) A racist C) Fuckin nuts D) All of the above

In his latest proclamation from crazy land, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani  said that he would prosecute for perjury anyone whose grand jury testimony in Ferguson, Missouri conflicted with police officer Darren Wilson’s account of the shooting of Michael Brown. Ostensibly, the basis for said prosecution would be that their testimony did not... Read more »

Is Festivus really for the rest of us?

In a 1997 episode of Seinfeld, the world is introduced to an off beat celebration known only to the Costanzas-George’s family.  Lauded as an alternative to Christmas, the holiday is celebrated on the 23rd of December and decreed, “Festivus for the rest of us.” The holiday is symbolized by what looks like a closet pole... Read more »

Do you know your vehicle's VIN number by heart?

Don’t be scared, this isn’t a test.  Nobody should be required to know their vehicle’s VIN number by heart.  Everyone should, however know just how redundant it is to talk about your vehicle’s VIN number. On those rare occasions that I’m asked for my drivers license number, I’ve often been met with looks of surprise... Read more »

Democrats kicked their own asses last Tuesday and they'll do it again in 2016

Everyone from Ted Cruz to Rush Limbaugh is taking credit for opening a can of whoop-ass on the Democrats last Tuesday night.  Democrats, however need no help these days defeating themselves. They’re like the Jim Carrey of politics.  Watch Carrey kick his own as in Liar Liar  and Me, Myself & Irene  In 2008, President... Read more »

Just throw the fucking ball, will ya?

I don’t have a lot going for me.  When you’re at work, I have to find ways to amuse myself that won’t get me into too much trouble when you get home.  I have no thumbs, so I can’t play video games. Who am I kidding?  I can’t even turn on the TV. I’d lick... Read more »

Killing Ebola patients is the only way to save our country

If the headline up there seems cruel, hysterical, ignorant or any of dozens of other adjectives describing the cretins of our political culture, you’re not alone.  At least, I hope we’re not alone. If you Google Todd Kincannon-former head of the South Carolina GOP, the  three common elements popping up are Pro-Life, Christian and Tea... Read more »

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad neighbor

Neighbors come and go.  Some remain strangers, some become close friends.  The ones who remain strangers are probably the best. Then, there’s that one special neighbor.  You wake up in the morning and look out your window, hoping against hope that his house got swallowed up by a sink hole.  Or picked up by a... Read more »