The Miracle of Christmas

This being my first blip of December, I’d like to start out by telling you about the REAL miracle of Christmas. I find it quite impossible to believe that Santa Claus is out there slipping up and down sooty, grimy chimneys, delivering back-breaking loads of toys to boys and girls all over the world when he has a flying sleigh and knows where all the naughty girls live.

So, how was your Thanksgiving? Even at my house family squabbles have become so cliche that we can get all the way to dessert with nary a cross word. It’s just too plebeian. We’ve even gotten to the point where we invite exess and random strangers to share our pleasantries. You may be wondering how we got to this point of holiday civility and I’m going to share my prescription for a happy Thanksgiving: Take several shots of Tequila and call me on Cyber Monday.

My countdown clock is showing about 20 shopping days til Christmas. The fiscal cliff is less than a week after that, not sure how that’s going to factor into our holiday spending. If I believed that the world was going to end on the 21st, as the Mayan calendar suggests, I don’t think I’d be inclined to spend the Earth’s final week elbowing my way through eggnog-crazed shoppers.

If, however we’re all still here on the 22nd, I’m going to have to get my ass in gear for some high-powered gift buying. Determining how each gift fits into my holiday budget, I may have to use the fiscal cliff as a “seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time” to just forget about any kind of budgetary concerns and let the coming bills take care of themselves. I know my Republican friends (don’t ask – I don’t know why I have Republican friends) would suggest that I cut spending, but I think I’ll just make a New Year’s resolution to try to increase revenue. Who knows, it may even work this year.

I’m going to close with something I’d like you to think about: Why do people who smoke use sunscreen?

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  • In reply to Perplexio:

    Of course you are. If you've never read any of my stuff before, I happen to be an equal opportunity misanthrope. I hate all people; left, right, center, white, black, green....whatever. The problem with the GOP is that the outliers, if you want to call them that are so extreme, so vocal and so mis-informed that they completely overshadow the mostly-normal ones closer to the middle.
    In your latest blog you say that your personal and political views are mutually exclusive. I think what you meant to say is that your personal views don't taint your political views, which is actually quite different. And I mean that as constructive, not critical.

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