SEALS: Mister Rogers wants his sweater back

It’s been a while since I’ve gotten one of the Mister Rogers/Lee Marvin/Captain Kangaroo things. (If you’ve never seen it and you’re interested, click here) Now that the election’s over, I suppose people are looking for new stuff to send around and re-cycling some of the old stuff.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with thinking that our children’s beloved Mister Rogers was a Navy SEAL. We like heroes and we’re filled with pride and patriotism having recognizable faces attached to tales of bravery and heroism. Labeling Mister Rogers as a ruthless sniper may seem far-fetched, but it may also be a bit of an affront to actual Navy SEALS.

The real danger, though is our continued susceptibility to groundless innuendo and outright fiction. Simply put, we tend to believe what we want to believe. Inexorably we all filter incoming data through a culmination of our experiences and internal predilections. That may explain why those uncomfortable with the thought of a non-White person running for president so willingly believed and assimilated incomprehensible allegations of Barack Obama being something other than an American, qualified for the job.

Ironically, when you challenge someone on the Mister Rogers myth, they become defensive, questioning your information. “How do you know he wasn’t a SEAL?” Having read the fable on the internet, it’s already a part of their own narrative and, while they never considered questioning the story’s voracity, they’re now offended that you question it.

Speaking as the anti-Christ, it seems to me that those most willing to suspend reality for the absolution of magical beings are most able to accept the irrational. In an age when the very progress of mankind is being held hostage to fundamental beliefs based upon fear and superstition, leading the gullible has become political doctrine.

DON’T BELIEVE ME. I urge you, don’t believe a word I’ve said here. Don’t believe anyone. The very same internet that allows Nigerian princes to wire you millions and provide mis-information at every level is also available for you to do your own research. Find out for yourself. Take a few minutes and peruse some non-partisan sites. I promise, Snookie will still be there when you’re done.

Subscribe to the Chicago Board of Tirade

* You will never get SPAM
* Your email address will never be sold or given away
* You will only receive emails on days I post.
* You can unsubscribe at any time
* You can contact me anytime at:

* Just type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button.


Leave a comment
  • You can take my word for it..Governor Jesse the Body Ventura was a Navy SEAL.

    The linked articles prove the difficulty of proving a negative, but in that case demonstrate that there wasn't a sufficient break in Mr. Rogers's known employment history to support the rumor.

Leave a comment