Leaving the Darius Rucker pre race concert at the GEICO 400 Sprint Cup race on Sunday at Chicagoland Speedway in Joliet, I ran into about the last person I was expecting to see on this planet: The GEICO Caveman (it turns out the caveman was the Grand Marshal of the race. Of course he was. Why wouldn’t he be?). So, I did what any responsible music journalist would do: ambushed him with an interview request even though he has absolutely nothing to do with the music I supposedly cover. What follows below is the transcript to the impromptu two minute interview that I conducted with The GEICO Caveman about his thoughts on the city of Chicago, NASCAR racing and of course saving money with his archnemesis GEICO.
Q. So is it true that saving money with GEICO is so easy even a caveman could do it?
Caveman: I wouldn’t know.
Q. Why not?
Caveman: Because… I don’t save money with GEICO to be perfectly honest with you.
Q. Ok… Well, Darius Rucker from Hootie & the Blowfish performed earlier. Any thoughts on Darius or Hootie?
Caveman: Well, I got to hang out with him onstage a little bit. Great guy. Absolutely great guy. A set of pipes that could make angels weep. He’s that good.
Q. So we’re here at a NASCAR event… Are we going to see you out there driving any time soon?
Caveman: I’ve been trying to qualify for the last seven years. And for some reason or another the only circuit I could really get is the soapbox derby. And I of course dominate that.
Q. Any thoughts on the city of Chicago?
Caveman: It’s an amazing town… amazing town.
Q. Do you have any drivers out here that you’re pulling for or rooting against?
Caveman: Not in particular. Because I’ve learned over the years that that’s a very sticky subject to get into. Because you’ve got your loyalists on either side of the fence and I tend to play it a little more from the middle. I was hoping for a great race today and it’s looking like it might get a little bit washed out… But that being said…
Q. It looks like the Bears are getting it handed to them today [by the Saints].
Caveman: Yes. They. Are.
Q. Any thoughts on the Chicago Bears?
Caveman: They played pretty well last week [against the Atlanta Falcons]. Not so much this week. And then next week, we’ll see!
Q. Anything else you want people to know about you?
Caveman: I love them.
Q. That’s nice. It’s admirable.
Caveman: I’m a very lovable, warm kind of guy… as long as you give me a chance. That’s all I can ask for. Just like anyone else. Ya know?
This interview was conducted by Jim Ryan.