When I woke up this morning I was still sad over the loss of Grey’s Anatomy’s Derek Shepherd. I know what you’re thinking. Lady, it’s just a TV show. But honestly every day we wake up may be our last day here. And it changed my way of thinking about life.
With every relationship comes struggle. After the birth of our son, my relationship changed with myself and with my fiancé. There are many days I feel defeated. Tired. Overwhelmed. Like I can’t do anything right. I’m a horrible partner and mother. I feel resentment some days. I feel unappreciated. I feel lost.
I don’t kiss my partner enough. I don’t hug him enough. I don’t laugh with him like I used to. We don’t spend quality time together. Dates. Just me and him. I get lost in the stress of my job and the stress of raising a toddler. We get lost.
Like Meredith and Derek, they lost their way too. But they found their way back. We have always found our way back. Since we were 16 years old.
Today I hugged him a little tighter. Kissed him a little longer as I headed out the door for work. If was the last time I saw him, he would know I loved him.
When I dropped my son off at daycare, I hugged him tight and told him I loved him and to have a great day. If was the last time I saw him, he would know I loved him.
I will not text in the car. I will not answer my phone without being hands free. I will not take my life for granted. I will stop yelling to the sky on bad days that my life sucks. Because it doesn’t.
It is beautiful and amazing.
And what I learned the most from Derek Shepard was this:
The first time I kissed my wife…it was like I never kissed another woman before. It was like the first kiss. The Right Kiss. ~Derek Shepherd
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