I have a 2 1/2 year old son that on a daily basis drives me bat shit crazy.
Bat. Shit. Crazy.
You got to love them.
Here are ten reasons my toddler has me one step away from a looney bin.
1) He throws an epic tantrum when I drop him off at preschool and mimics the same when it’s time to go home. Make up your fucking mind. You like it there or you don’t.
2) Refuses to eat anything I make. Anything with skin, the yuckies need to be removed. Seriously what the fuck are yuckies?
3) He has to use the potty every 5 minutes. I get it. It’s new, it’s exciting but that turd hanging out of your ass isn’t going anywhere if you continually jump off every 2 seconds.
4) Speaking of bathrooms, he always needs to use the potty when I’m sitting on it. Always. It. Never. Ever. Ever. Fails.
5) Pull-ups are not made to wear on one leg. Somehow I always find this kid two thighs high in the left leg of a Pull-up.
6) Asks me “What are you doing?” when clearly he can see that I’m sleeping, driving, eating, or taking a shit. What exactly do you think I’m doing? Shitting is not secret code for eating ice cream.
7) Elsa cup for juice. Olaf cup for water. Spill proof cup for bed. Don’t fuck it up. Ever. And yes, he has an Elsa cup. Shut your face.
8) He argues more than a teenager. Enough. Said.
9) Evidently I’m running a fashion show over here because this little shit must wear a new set of pajamas every night. Every. Night.
10) He must sleep on top of the bedspread. Must. And with the blanket of his choosing on top of him. Don’t fuck that up either.
And always, mom is the preferred hostess with the mostest. Daddy who?
Oh, and that my friends, was just today.
Tell me, what do your children do that drives you crazy?
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