As a way to say thank you to my fans, I decided to interview an everyday mom. After posting the question to my Facebook page “tell me why your life has the most mayhem”, Shari Hatfield of Bolingbrook, Illinois was the top contender.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Shari for her spotlight on Chi-town Mommy Mayhem.
1) Write a bio about yourself in 5 sentences or less including why your life has the most mayhem.
I’m a 41 year old mom (& paramedic of 17 years) of 5 daughters and 1 grandson. They all live with me full time except the youngest who is my stepdaughter and she’s here half the time. I also have a “foster” daughter who is 19 and was adopted in the US from Russia. My oldest daughter’s fiancé also lives with us as well as my husband’s mother. I was married for the second time in October 2014 to the greatest, most patient man alive.
2) What are the ages and sexes of your children? Grandchildren?
ALL daughters ages 20, 19, 7, 6, 5 and Grandson is 4 weeks old. Foster Daughter is 19 and Future son in law is 22
3) If you only allowed to give your children one piece of advice what would it be?
Take responsibility for your choices and decisions. Life is so much simpler that way.
4) What are your biggest pet peeves?
People who believe they’re entitled. If you didn’t earn it, (whether it be respect, love, money or whatever) it’s not yours and NO ONE owes it to you.
People who are rude or ungrateful. I cannot stand people who can’t say “thank you”. Brings out a side of me I don’t like to see. We are all in this big huge world together and life is rough and can be sad and overwhelming but there’s NEVER a reason not to thank someone who helped you or held a door for you or let you go ahead in line. Let alone MAJOR events that occur and someone assists you. There’s no need to be ignorant or rude to anyone. Just get over yourself and be polite and you’ll feel better too and I won’t have to glare at you either. Thank you.
5) What was one of the most defining moments of your life, perhaps that changed your forever, or took you down a different course.
After a rough (like really, really rough) marriage of 18 years, divorce and me losing faith and trust in almost everyone. A man took my hands and looked into my eyes and told me I was his hero. He told me I was strong and beautiful and he wanted to take care of me and my kids in ways we have never seen. I told him he was crazy and to run away and run fast and he refused. I married that guy. Thank God he didn’t listen to me.
6) If you could define yourself in a song what would it be?
Little Miss by Sugarland
7) I made a parenting mistake when………
It’s tough to raise a big gap family. Now that my younger ones are getting older and understanding life and school and relationships, it’s very hard to keep the whole house age appropriate for everyone. I was super busy and in my own world and sent my then 3 year old to my then 16 year old’s room so I could finish some chores. Told them to play or just do something to keep the 3 year old occupied which made my older daughter not happy. 20 minutes later my 3 year old appears in the kitchen in FULL makeup a short skirt and bra. I stood up in horror and she opens her mouth and asks me “what’s up dawg?” I ran up those stairs to that bedroom so fast to find my oldest crying because she was laughing so hard. (yes it was hard not to laugh as I screamed at her) Then I just lost it and realized I’m fighting a losing battle. The older kids are NOT babysitters for the little ones.
I needed to slow down and breathe more often. The little ones are MY responsibility.That doesn’t mean the older ones can’t help out now and then and be a role model to the little ones but it’s all still on me.
Being a single mom to the four of them was the hardest job of my life. Harder than crawling into a burning building, harder than picking people up off the expressway in pieces. IT WAS HARD. But I’d do it all again in a heartbeat without a second thought.
8) If someone were to push your buttons, what would they say/do?
Tell me I can’t do something. I don’t like road blocks and I’ve become a professional at knocking them down. Except for the ones I put in place myself. Sometimes you need them to keep yourself on the right path but roadblocks others throw up in an attempt to stop me from achieving my goals?? Taking them down brings me great joy.
I also don’t like people who judge others. It’s a cliché but it’s true, unless you’ve lived my life don’t judge my decisions, you weren’t there and you don’t know.
9) If you could go back in time and talk your teen self, what would you say?
GO TO COLLEGE. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVED being a Paramedic L-O-V-E-D it. However, as a female in that job, you get tired and your body wears out. So do the guys but let’s be honest, women are women and especially after having multiple babies, its rough. I knew I wanted to SAVE THE WORLD from when I was 16 but it would have been nice to have a degree to fall back on later in life. Which is ummm NOW. But after college I would still say SAVE THE WORLD.
10) Take us on a tour of your home! What are your favorite spots and corners and what’s behind those closet doors??
I have rebuilt my ENTIRE home from the wall studs up. Yes ME. Home Depot and Menard’s have employees who know my name and address by heart. (and a lot of them run the other way when I walk in) I started this massive project in the spring of 2013 and it’s still going on. I have laid flooring and trim, painted hundreds of square feet of walls, completely finished an entire basement into 2 bedrooms, full bathroom, laundry room and living area. I have learned more from google and DIY then I thought was humanly possible. Yes I had licensed electricians, plumbers and an AWESOME carpenter help me through my journey, but I did it. I am beyond proud of this home and it’s 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms and it’s still not 100% complete but I loved the work and all I learned. I ripped down walls and put up walls and moved windows and of course when I heard the words “you can’t do that” I went online and found a way to do it. I poured my sweat and blood (literally both) into this house for my amazing husband and kids and love every inch of it.
I loaded 9- 30 yard dumpsters cleaning out the house prior to the renovation. Yes the dumpster man knew me personally when I was finished. So no real tour at this time just know it’s a home built with love and lots and lots of hard work.
11)If you could write a blog what would it be about and what would you name it?
If I had my own blog I’d call it “Mom on a Mission” and it would be about raising a big gap family of girls with extra kids mixed in, in this crazy world while teaching them about love, respect and responsibility. Or something like that. LOL
Are you a mom or dad, without a blog, who thinks their life has the most mayhem and want to be featured on my blog? Drop me an email at TJ@chi-townmommymayhem.com or send me a message on Facebook. You could see yourself right here in a future post!
Read past posts from our Mayhem Mommies here!
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