20 Things Moms REALLY Want for Christmas

20 Things Moms REALLY Want for Christmas

It’s that time of year again. Time to get a list together for your significant other and children of things you wish to find under the tree on Christmas morning. Things you pull out of your ass every year because there isn’t anything materialistic that your really want or need.

You need other things.

Want other things.

Here are 20 things moms REALLY want for Christmas:

1) Sleep. Like All. Freakin’. Night.

2) To Sleep In. Just one day a week. Just one damn day a week.

3) The 3 SP’s. Shit, Shower, and Shave in Private.

4) To go grocery shopping alone. A-L-O-N-E

5) To listen to her music in the car. Not a kids channel, CD, or the background of an annoying DVD.

6) A night away. Alone. Not with you. Or you. But Alone. In a hotel. With room service and the Lifetime channel.

7) A sick day. An honest to goodness, take some Niquil and leave me the hell alone all day, sick day. As in handle things without me for one day, sick day.

8) For everyone to eat the meal she makes. No exceptions or substitutions.

9) To eat that meal uninterrupted.

10) To watch a movie or favorite show in its entirety. Without interruption.

11) Non mom clothes.

12) Non mom hair.

13) Wine of the month club subscription.

14) To drink said wine without a two day hangover for a two glass night.

15) To sneeze, cough, or laugh without peeing her pants.

16) A back rub that doesn’t require sex.

17) A back rub that turns into sex.

18) A night out. A night out with friends without feeling guilty. A night out with the significant other without having to schedule a babysitter two months in advance.

19) A babysitter on speed dial.

20) To feel appreciated. A thank you. Romance. Flowers. And for someone else to do the laundry once in a while.

Tell me, what would you add to this list?

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