Every mom has been there. Your child is asleep.
The monitor says so. You even crank that bitch all the way up. You even put your ear to it so you can actually here breathing.
In and out.
Can I actually get into the shower???
You run the water. You undress. You step in. Ahhh!
Wait! Shit! Is that crying?
You fling open the curtain, reach for the monitor…still asleep.
Retreat back to the glorious hot water.
Finally an uninterrupted shower. The bathroom is all yours.
But is it?
Toys. Toys peering at you. Watching your every move. Eying your soapy body. Damn it Goofy! Turn around! Look at him. He can barely watch! They creep you out so you turn their backs to you. Toys!
What once was filled with the latest Bath and Body Works scents is now replaced with Costco sized Baby Wash.
Mom’s Color Shield for grey covered hair. Baby shampoo for lack there of hair.
Mom’s loofa has been replaced with this little shit.
Dad’s loofa and a Red Solo Cup? Yeah, this ain’t a frat house. This is how we rinse our kid’s hair.
Ever accidentally brush your teeth with this shit?
Decorative towels? Pleaaaase! He’s the leader of the club now.
What hopes to be 10 minutes of me time is still 10 minutes of mommy and me time. The constant reminder that you now share your life with a little person.
A little person who will one day lock themselves in this very bathroom for an hour prepping for his first date.
As much as I long for just a few minutes of “me time”, I also remember in no time at all he will become a man. A man who will leave his mom and all I will ever want is a little “us time”.
I guess I can hang with Goofy a little while longer.
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