Nap Time Is The New Happy Hour

Nap Time Is The New Happy Hour

Remember the days when “happy hour” meant a two hour window at your local bar where discount drinks were available? Or that hotel you stayed at on business that offered shitty well drinks and peanuts? Or even the all inclusive resort you vacationed at that had a swim up bar and a happy hour 24/7?

Ahh, the good old days. Now, my happy hour consist of my son’s two hour mid day nap and the second his bedroom door closes at 7pm and he is down for the night.

Geez! How did nap time become the new happy hour?

For starters, binge drinking has become a thing of the past. Two drinks and I’m buzzed. Two drinks and I have a two day hangover. Yeah, I know, I’ve become a lightweight. It’s just not worth it.

Secondly, I don’t get out much nor have time to myself. More appropriately, we don’t get much time to ourselves. Our son dominates any awake time we do have.

His two hour nap gives us a chance to recharge our batteries. After all, the sweet little prince we put down for nap, may very well wake up possessed by the devil himself. Toddlers and their multiple personalities…….

Also, when he sleeps, we get shit done.

Like what?

Eat a meal uninterrupted
Have an adult conversation
Watch something other than Sesame Street and Mickey Mouse Club House
Catch up on our DVR
Read a book
Catch up on social media
Write a blog post
Do a load of laundry
Think about doing laundry
Have Sex
Think about having sex
Think about cleaning
Attempt to fall asleep
Use the bathroom alone
Pick my nose
Paint my toenails
Take a shower
Stare at the walls in silence

I know what you are thinking. People, get a life! Sweetheart, when you have kids, this is your life.

What sucks most is when that glorious happy hour is cut short. Like when the dick next door fires up his snow blower and the dogs start barking. Or when some jackass selling shit comes to our door, rings the bell, and the dogs start barking. Ooooh, my favorite is when the dogs just start barking.

Fucking dogs.

Our two hour toddler break is suddenly cut short. We barely made it through Chicago Fire. WTF?

Are we having fun yet?

It’s 7 o’clock somewhere right?

Cheers!  (raises imaginary pint of Guinness)


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