To reproduce or not to reproduce…that is the question. To refill or not to refill? You see, Aunt Flo just left town and I’m out of birth control pills. It is the perfect time to start fresh, start counting days, and start having sex. Yes, we are thinking about Baby #2 and quite honestly, I’m scared freaking shitless! Do we really want to do this? Have two children in diapers at the same time? Can I do this…again?
My partner and I started having a family late in life. At age 40, our son just turned 8 months old. Although most of our friends either have children who are almost teens or have started out late like us, none of them have children close in age. Who will I commiserate with? Where will I go for advice?
Here is a list of my worst fears:
1) Child #2 will be NOTHING like perfect, loving, happy, big brother Bubba Joe. He/she will be my evil spawn, Rosemary’s Baby, Chuckie, Honey Boo Boo, or Gage from Steven King’s Pet Cemetery.
2) Am I ready to give up my body and what’s left of my mind (aka sanity)?
3) Although I am not a huge drinker, mommy likes to drink. Am I ready to go back on the wagon so soon?
4) I am currently at war with the last 15 pounds to lose from Bubba Joe’s pregnancy. Do I really want to add onto that shit?
5) Gas. My bowls are just now getting back to normal. No lie.
6) Acid reflux. Do I really want to be woken up every night by the sound of myself choking to death on my own bile?
7) Lack of sleep on top of lack of sleep. Thankfully at 8 months old my son sleeps through the night. However, I do not.
8) Hormones. I am still a raging hormonal hot mess. Poor Daddy Mayhem sleeps with one eye open as it is. He knows I’ve plotted his departure on more than one occasion.
9) Labor and delivery. Enough said.
10) Lack of bladder control. Squatting down to pick something up and pissing the floor without your knowledge 6 days postpartum=not fun!
10) Bigger boobs. Seriously kid…you didn’t want them yet I GOT them. Two cup sizes later…..I do not want to be Anna Nicole Smith the second time around!
11) Losing my hair again. Seriously folks, we had to call Rotor Rooter out to unclog my small pocket pet of hair from the drain.
12) Uncontrollable crying and the return of Postpartum Depression. Not fun, I say. Not fun.
13) Purchasing a double stroller. It just screams “run for the hills!!!”
14) More shit, more toys, more clothes, oh boy!
15) Will my son think we don’t love him anymore? How do you share the love?
My partner says it’s my decision. He’s ready when I am……but am I???? Part of me says “we aren’t getting any younger, let’s get this over and out of the way” and the other part of me says, “OH HELL NO!”
What was your decision maker to have baby #2??
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