Please note: This is a bah humbug sort of rant. If you love the holidays, please stop reading. However, if you are sick of the rush please continue.
I have gone 110 mph since December 17th. It started with my daughter getting an ear infection. As we all know, when the little toddler gets sick the whole world comes to a screeching halt. I couldn’t even change my socks without her getting hysterical and spitting fire.
Next came her preschool Christmas party. Parents were invited to attend the party and decorate cookies and meet Santa. She threw a fit as soon as Santa walked in the door, screaming and crying and yelling “no mommy, BAAAD!” So we didn’t get a picture with that Santa. She wouldn’t take a book from his little elf. She twisted away from the elf and said “NO!”
The ex-outlaws contacted me and asked if I would allow my angel to participate in a family portrait. I said yes because this may be the only picture she would be in where everyone is out of jail and has the appearance of sobriety. I took her to the studio and to may shock and amazement, everyone was bathed and had on clean clothes. I held my breath because I thought maybe the Mayans were right and the world was indeed ending.
Christmas Eve I ran her all over town to visit different outlaws. She did have fun opening presents and making cookies. She was really enjoying the rush. I on the other hand was praying for a giant bottle of vodka and some Xanax. Afterwards, we head home where all the presents I had purchased remained unwrapped. My nugget finally fell asleep and I thought I finally got my Christmas present. No such luck. She woke up and was pinging off the walls. Apparently she caught her second wind and did not stop until 11:30 pm. I threw all of the unwrapped presents into birthday gift bags and went to bed.
We wake up very late on Christmas day. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the clock flashing 9:45 am. On any other day I would be doing cartwheel but we needed to leave by 11 am to get to my sister’s house who lives 2 hours away. We rush through Santa’s presents and I skip making a big breakfast. I still had to pack the car, take a shower, and give my nugget a bath. Ugh! We finally get to my sister’s house. Presents, dinner, visit, pack car again and drive another 2 hours home.
And it isn’t even New Year’s yet!
Next year I am going to the beach and watching my little nugget play in the sand. Screw this holiday shit.