Category: Grief

What do we refer to when we talk about “doing the work”?

All of us I believe, arrive at adulthood with slights of childhood still needing to be healed. For some, the more fortunate, the wound needs but a suture or two. But many of us have suffered damage that remains problematic for decades. And the healing process can be lengthy. Self-esteem and capacity for love and... Read more »

A dog named Oliver stays with us over the weekend and reminds me of an important lesson that humans must learn

Oliver, the Golden Retriever We couldn’t help but fall in love with the playful Golden Retriever, 100 pounds of bundled energy with a puppy’s playfulness still very much present. He had settled in with us with hardly a whimper as our dog-sitting stint began, two days of a fireball in the middle of our quiet... Read more »

Pep talk to get out of bed when it hurts like hell

Pep talk to get out of bed when it hurts like hell
Some mornings are worse than others. There are days when I wake up before dawn with a cramp hardening the calf muscle on my left leg into a rigid burl, knotted and gnarled. My grimace is a combination of agony, familiarity and resignation; it is not my first time on the rack watching the ratchet... Read more »
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I resurrect my brother after 75 years gone and oddly, I see him more clearly than ever before

I resurrect my brother after 75 years gone and oddly,  I see him more clearly than ever before
Seventy-five years ago, when I was fourteen, my older brother by four years died in an automobile accident. I mark the event with a candle on the altar where ceramic angels and pictures of favorite gurus and swamis stare back at me when I meditate in the mornings. And for the first time in many... Read more »

How to add years of joy and meaning to life. (Secrets revealed, Part 3)

How to add years of joy and meaning to life. (Secrets revealed, Part 3)
It cannot be said too many times. If you want to be happy as you enter the home stretch, follow this two-step process. 1. Let go of ‘what was’ and make a realistic appraisal of ‘what is.’ 2. Build your future around the good stuff that shows up in your assessment. There is danger in... Read more »

How to add years of joy and meaning to life! (Secrets revealed – Part 2)

How to add years of joy and meaning to life!  (Secrets revealed – Part 2)
Half a lifetime ago I attended a workshop that had me sign a contract not to drink or take drugs during the length of the event. At the dinner break, my friends who were lapping up the frozen margaritas, passed a glass for their suddenly sober pal to taste. “What’s with you,” they teased, this... Read more »
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How to add years of joy and meaning to life! (Secrets revealed – Part 1)

How to add years of joy and meaning to life!  (Secrets revealed – Part 1)
Four years ago I started writing this weekly post believing that sharing the experiences I encountered on the journey to Elderhood would help others traveling the path behind me. I’ve been distracted along the way, diverted by the country’s social unrest, a divisive political arena, my antipathy for the president and of course, most recently,... Read more »

America goes to the therapist. (We listen in)

America goes to the therapist. (We listen in)
Therapist: America, you’ve made appointments before, and left after a session or two. Are you ready now to dig in and do the work that is necessary to heal? America: The murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis was literally an eight minutes and forty-six seconds movie that all of America saw. There no longer is... Read more »

My granddaughter and a boy in a red sweater end violence in America

My granddaughter and a boy in a red sweater end violence in America
Four years ago this post spoke to the simmering rage of a country divided. Sadly, in the interim years, progress at instituting change has been limited. Now the George Floyd tragedy has turned the world upside down. Once again, we plea for the power of love to prevail. Dear Lord, we do not want to... Read more »
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The strongman wept and lifted a giant weight off his chest

The strongman wept and lifted a giant weight off his chest
Risk an unpopular viewpoint and the blog-o-sphere erupts with molten malice; dreaded Twitter monsters lurk behind their venomous hash tags. The twisted values of the social media world deliver a clear message: “Why would you willingly expose yourself to being emotionally attacked and wounded? Dude, do not ever admit to being vulnerable!” It is sad... Read more »