Things I Never Thought I'd Have To Say To Kids

Whether you’re a mom or a caregiver, I swear… SWEAR… there are things you find yourself uttering that leave you thinking “what the– did I really just say that like it’s no big deal?” As a full-time caregiver to three, tiny ankle biters, I find myself often replaying our daily dialogue (that’s usually centered around body parts and/or bodily functions). Here, for your reading pleasure, are a few of my greatest moments:

1. I know I’m not the only one who never thought she’d have to say this:


2. Maybe I should have known better but I never thought I’d have to say this:


3. Here’s another oft-repeated one I never thought I’d have to say:


4. Or this lovely gem (please tell me I’m not the only one who didn’t see this coming):


5. Never thought I’d have to say this…over and over and over and over:


6. Nope, never thought I’d have to say this either:


7. Which, naturally, leads to:


Everything from “we have to wear underwear outside just because that’s what people do,” to “get off your brother’s/sister’s head!!” to “please stop touching the dog’s/cat’s butt hole,” has come out of just about every mother’s or caregiver’s mouth at one point or another. But, trust me, just when I think I’ve heard (and said) it all, I catch something that completely throws me. Like the poor, young mom in front of me at Target the other day whose preschooler loudly and repeatedly asked her a question for which the only answer was, “Yes, honey, I know Mommy’s boobies are smaller than that lady’s but let’s wait until we get out of Target before we discuss it, ok?”

How about you? I’d love to hear some of your tales from the trenches if you’re willing to share – solidarity sisters! We’re all in this together so give me your best!

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  • fb_avatar

    What a bunch of good laughs! It's been so many years since my little kids grew up that I can't remember any of our gems in this category but I can well imagine the ones you shared happening.

  • fb_avatar

    Haha! Too funny. I love reading them in a list. One of my favorite shows from way back was Art LInkletter's "Kids Say the Darndest Things." His reaction was as priceless as the comments he got from kids. Thanks for sharing this.

  • fb_avatar

    OMG! Too funny. Brings back many memories of raising my kids. Thanks for the laughs.

  • fb_avatar

    This was great and although I don't have anything to add, I can only imagine some of the crazy things we are saying daily. My daughter was a "perfect" child except she never slept, however, I still don't remember having to say anything like this! Wonderful stuff and happy you are recording it to share with them all when they grow up!

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