My daughter started her senior year in high school today. She has really never liked school, so the beginning of the end is bittersweet. She’s been celebrating with the mantra, “This is the last time….”
Summer vacation is over and the grind is beginning again. She can hardly wait to be finished with high school and I’m fantasizing about winding back the clock. Sometimes I can’t breathe when I think about graduation day.
But we’ll never be in this place again, never in this way. And this place is good and sweet and just the blink of an eye.
Being in the moment means celebrating now and not waiting for the big things. Being in the moment means freeing the joy of now from the worry about tomorrow.
Last night we went out to eat at a pretty fancy restaurant. We made a reservation. We got dressed up. We ate dessert. We took a selfie. We giggled. We told stories. We talked and talked and talked.
Tomorrow never came up. It turns out that now was enough to fill our time and our hearts.
Yesterday sometimes claws at me, and tomorrow mostly looms. Such is the way of depression and anxiety. I am learning to ask them to step aside and let me be in the moment. Sometimes I succeed.
All we have is this moment. All we have is now. I don’t want to miss it, especially not when my daughter is here with me.
I’ve been listening a lot to Paul Simon lately, and somehow this song, That’s Where I Belong, speaks to me.
When I see you smiling
When I hear you singing
Lavender and roses
Every ending a beginning
That’s the way it is
I don’t know why
Ay ay ay
But that’s where I belong
This post is part of a year-long series about my New Year’s resolution. All in the series are included in the Resolution Chronicles category below. This is the first post that explains my resolution.
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