Losing a doctor

After I finished my cancer treatment in 2012 and had a minute to think, I quickly turned to worrying about recurrence and progression. It’s a well-worn path among cancer survivors. Anxiety commonly ratchets up during remission. I was monitored closely by my doctor at the three-month mark, then six-months for awhile, then yearly. Somewhere along... Read more »

Teaching and Love

The Greeks had at least three words to describe love: eros, or romantic love; philos, or love of family or between friends; and agape, or altruism or unconditional love. I’ve learned about these since I was young and my minister father preached a sermon about agape. None has ever captured for me the love between... Read more »

Why I Walk in BCAN’s Annual Event

Why I Walk in BCAN’s Annual Event
I was diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2012. It was one of the worst years of my life. My family still feels the impact of the diagnosis even though I’m firmly in remission. In some ways, life after remission is harder, bringing with it depression, anxiety, and sometimes cold fear. Because my husband had just... Read more »
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This year demands work

“And now let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been, full of work that has never been done, full of tasks, claims, and demands; and let us see that we learn to take it without letting fall too much of what it... Read more »

Life without power

I am cleaning out my refrigerator. Two jumbo black garbage bags are ready. Everything is going inside the bags. At least I think everything is. It is Thursday afternoon and power went down on Monday at 4:04 p.m. according to the electric clock upstairs, the result of a powerful storm that roared through Chicago. I... Read more »

This is how to stop the rioting: white people must fight for justice because Black Lives Matter

Martin Luther King Jr said, “A riot is the language of the unheard.” The language that is unheard seems all too often, “I can’t breathe.” It is kneeling on one knee during the national anthem. It is hundreds of marchers saying, “Black lives matter.” It is raising arms above your head and begging, “Don’t shoot.”... Read more »
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May you be happy. May you be safe. Lovingkindness in a pandemic.

I’m not exactly an optimist. Not really a fully committed pessimist either. Somewhere in the gray space in between. I want to believe in the best and sometimes I succeed. When depression descends I can see only the worst. Most days I waver between the two. I try hard to be rational, though I know... Read more »

"How to be Miserable" during a pandemic

I’ve written about this book before here. It’s a book that changed my life. You hear a lot about positivity and gratitude, both valuable and honorable qualities. But, they’re qualities that have a dark side. When I’m not in a positive state of mind or not in tune with positivity, I feel guilty, even ashamed.... Read more »

Finding comfort in a troubled time

When my daughter was little she loved her pacifiers. They went with her everywhere. At bedtime after stories she’d get three of them. One for her mouth and the other two in her little toddler hands rubbing them against her eyes. I saved three of them and keep them in a drawer in my kitchen.... Read more »
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Ten good things while sheltering in place

Thanks to Donna, who inspired this post. My neighborhood is friendlier My neighbors down the block have built a fire pit. From what I gather as I shamelessly eavesdrop, it’s built into the ground. Their two kids, one just graduated from high school and the other a college student, are home with them. Just about... Read more »