Countdown Till Christmas: I am Going to Strangle My Elf

Dear Santa,

We are at the final countdown for the big 5…No not Christmas, the day I can shove that Elf back into our Christmas decoration box. I am literally counting down the nights until I can say: Bye Bye Little Elf! I have to share with you my concerns over this holiday tradition. I am strictly speaking as an overworked mom and I am secretly jealous of all the moms that can manage their Elf. But Santa to be honest, I lost control!

First off, if I ever meet the two women that invented Elf on the Shelf, I might accidentally tackle them to the ground. I might throw cold water on their faces, or better yet beat them with my Elf. After my tantrum, I would ask: “Why oh why would two women want to add more to do around the holidays for mothers across the world?” I mean, I can barely get the gifts ordered and wrapped-Thank God for Amazon Prime, the tree set up-which I think mine is dying fast and hard, do the tradition things-Zoo lights, finding the holiday train, getting matching pajamas, or even baking holiday cookies. Add in: Attending the festive parties, setting up for my daughter’s class Christmas party, and getting myself an ugly Christmas sweater. So bringing this Elf into the mix…It is more like a Nightmare before Christmas kind of tale.

Here is my beef, I forget about our Elf ALL the time! I have tried setting reminders, notes, even alarms, and still I forgot about him. I am constantly waking up in a panic, trying to outrun my daughter to our kitchen, to then grab him and throw him so he reaches a different location.

Here is what has transpired:

He ended up in my purse


Hanging off her umbrella


In our tree upside down


Stuck on our paper towel roll


Of course that is not the end of the world, but when that lean mean red fighting machine is in your purse, it is hard to not touch him to get your keys to take your daughter to school. Or even better, try cleaning up spilled milk with him hanging on the paper towel roll. Or best of all, the one day it rains, guess where the elf was hanging out…You guessed it in her umbrella!

So my real issue is not Carol and Chanda, the women that created the Elf. It is me! I failed as a mom, when it comes to getting holiday spirit in our house. Yesterday, my daughter beat me to the kitchen and I had not moved Elf. I had to explain that maybe yesterday something happened that made him lose his magic. She admitted to her tantrum in the toy store and her attitude with me, which is good, but I felt awful. Pure mom guilt. The real reason he didn’t move is because I FORGOT! I can’t explain to a 4 year old that I forgot to move this magical creature. She joyfully wake up EVERY morning excited to see where the Elf landed…Exactly our Elf lands places, because I forget to move him and end up throwing him across the room! So Santa, I might be closer to the naughty than nice list this year, and I am counting down the days until I can stuff that red annoying Elf into a box until next year!

I apologize Santa, I don’t think our Elf made it to the North Pole this year. I felt this letter would give you a full report of our household. I promise I will try harder next year, and even work in my holiday cheer right after Thanksgiving!

Sending you Big Elf Hugs,

An Overworked and Tired Mom



Filed under: Letters to My Daughter

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