I’m exhausted. Between working 45-50 hours per week, taking classes for CEU’s to maintain my human resources certifications, making time for my husband and my kids, and a variety of other time sponges, I am spent. There’s nothing left in the tank to give.
So, I ran away from my husband, kids and job, and I’m not sorry about it in the least. The only way for me to survive right now is to unplug from life. So I did.
Beautifully, it’s temporary. I ran away to a quaint town in rural Illinois that’s just far enough away to feel like it’s “away”, but close enough to home to get back if I need to. I ran away to write, read, relax, eat good food, sleep in, take naps and perhaps, soak in the jetted tub in my room.
I don’t need to see anyone. I don’t need company to eat in a restaurant. I’m perfectly happy to to be by myself and recharge.
What I’d truly like is to write another 3 or 4 chapters of my novel. I’m about half-way finished, but I haven’t written anything for it in over a year. A YEAR. Where did the time go?
Most people who know me from work, or church, or the grocery store see me as a very out-going person. They’re right, too. I am out-going. I am friendly and can easily talk to anyone. You’d be amazed how much people appreciate a genuine smile. (Except in Washington, D.C. – those folks need a lesson in friendliness, but that’s a different post).
However, I am not an extrovert. I am an introvert who happens to be out-going. I don’t gain my energy from being around people. Giving as much of myself as I do to every interaction means I’m giving away my energy being around people. I recharge in peace, quiet and solitude.
My home is my refuge, but occasionally, it’s not enough. Like now.
Now, I’m sitting in a very comfy, lovely room in a bed and breakfast writing a blog post for the first time in a couple months. It feels good. Really good.
In the morning, I’ll spend time in the Word, praying and connecting with God. Then I’ll have some coffee (hopefully bug-free) and breakfast, then I’ll start writing. At some point, I’ll make a reservation for dinner at a nearby steakhouse and spend more money on one meal that I probably should, then I’ll write some more.
I’m already feeling a bit better, but it’s just the start. I’m not going to edit this post tonight. I’m going to read it one more time, then click “publish”, because that what writers do – we write.
In a few days, I’ll run back to my husband, kids and even my job. I’ll hand out hugs and kisses (including puggie kisses) to my family, and I’ll be in a better emotional and mental state to tackle the challenges that await me at work.
So no, I’m not sorry for running away, because inevitably, I always run back, and I’m better for having left.
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
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