Some people say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Logic, therefore, dictates that I am insane. Probably certifiably so.
There are five things I never get right (or got right) the first time, and yet I continue to try over and over and over. Here they are in “David Letterman” style:
5. Washing and matching all the socks in the laundry.
What is with THIS? Why can’t I get this right the first time?
I sort the clothes matching up all the socks. I put the clothes in the basket leaving nothing behind on the floor.
I carry the clothes in the basket to the laundry room, then put the dirty clothes in the wash machine leaving no clothes in the basket.
I wash the clothes, then transfer the clothes to the dryer leaving nothing in the wash machine.
I dry the clothes, then pull them out of the dryer and place them in a basket leaving nothing behind in the dryer.
I then go to fold the clothes and socks are missing. What the heck?!?! Where are the socks?
I find one on the floor in the bedroom where I sorted the clothes, one in the wash machine and one in the dryer. So, that equates to 1 dirty, 1 wet and 1 dry sock, all with no mates.
I’ve been doing laundry for 36 years, you’d think I could get it right the first time by now.
4. Zipping up anything.
Why is this so hard? This is a skill we teach kids in preschool and kindergarten. I learned the skill, then use it for years, then suddenly, something happened (no one knows what) and as a middle-aged adult, I can no longer zip anything together. Ever.
If it’s two parts I have to fit together, like a winter coat, I just….can’t….get….the …. TWO….. PARTS ….. TO….. FRIGGING….. FIT!!!! Until it does. Whew.
Then, I go to zip it up, and the inside flappy thing gets caught in the teeth, or the pull. Now, I have to yank it either up or down to get the flappy thing out, but the pull won’t move. OH MY WORD!! Why?!?!
Finally, “POP” out goes the flappy thing and I’m happily zipping along. Just not the first time.
3. Getting engaged.
I tried to get this one right the first time. Truly I did. We dated. We waited. We got to know each other, and then, after 5 1/2 years of dating, we got engaged. He asked me. He gave me a ring. I, stupidly, said yes.
Until I said “Hell no” when I found out he’d been dating someone else for 2 years. TWO YEARS, I said. Nuh-uh. Then, I said “HELL NO” and gave back the ring. Too bad for him, because I’m a rockin’ good cook.
Then, I waited even longer, found a guy who didn’t get the engagement thing right the first time either, and together we got it right the second time. That was 21 years ago. Yay us!
2. Plugging anything into an outlet.
You know what I’m talking about don’t you? Even before I mention those horrible grounded plugs where one prong is bigger than the other, you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about, don’t you?
The vacuum cleaner, the hair drier, the flat iron, the dang toaster over and even my Keurig all have those grounded plugs. Shoot, even the stupid Christmas lights have it, and I never get it plugged in the right way the first time. EVER.
I’m guessing there is some kind of standard, so if I took the time to educate myself on which side of the outlet is the grounded side, I might be able to get it right the first time.
However, if it’s before my first cup of coffee, no amount of education will help; I still won’t get it right the first time.
And, drumroll please…… the #1 thing I never get right the first time is:
1. Plugging any USB plug into a USB port.
Never, ever, not once have I done this right the first time. Sometimes, I am so incredibly astounded by doing it wrong AGAIN, that I just have to try again to see if it will actually fit.
Nope. So I turn it over and plug it in. USB plugs/ports were introduced as new technology in 1996. That’s nearly 20 years ago. One would think that after all this time, I’d figure out a way to get it right the first time. One would think.
Today, I did it wrong 3 times. Once in the car on the way to work, once when I plugged in my iPhone at work, then once more on my way home from work.
Actually, make that 4 times today, because it just happened again when I went to plug it in to my laptop, which I’m now working at, which is what prompted this post.
I must be certifiable. It’s the only plausible explanation.
So, please excuse me now, while I try to find all the missing socks; they have to be here somewhere, right?
Colossians 3:23 (ESV)
23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men...
Philippians 4:13 (ESV)
13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
What do you have a hard time getting right the first time? Maybe, the second, third or fourth time, too?
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