by David Schuster
Once the calendar flips over to the new year the movie world starts coming out with some of the flicks that weren’t good enough to be released in the huge cinematic month of December. One such flick is “Season Of The Witch”.
I had been seeing previews of this movie for months and wondered when it would be released and finally here it is.
This is not a good movie. Nicholas Cage and Ron Perlman play a couple of crusading knights from back in the 14th century who finally get tired of hacking away their enemies and go AWOL. Eventually they are captured and can avoid hanging if they take the “Black Witch” to trial.
The Black Witch is played by (of course) a beautiful woman but inside is Satan himself. Perlman wise cracks throughout the entire movie and Cage never cracks a smile. Maybe that’s because he knows in real life the IRS is breathing down his back much like they did Wesley Snipes before convicting him of tax evasion.
This is one of those movies that is fraught with bad special effects and the lighting is as dark as when you might have had sex with someone you really didn’t want to see. If they really wanted to have some yucks they could have turned Perlman into one of the past movie characters, Hellboy. Now that would have been some good stuff. But, alas, this movie trudges through to the conclusion that you knew it would get to five minutes after the opening credits.
This is like one of those games at Wrigley that isn’t considered a premium game. Meaning it’s three steps below and costs you less. So don’t bother seeing it in the theater. Wait for it on rental because I give it – a weak single – one star.