I bet you’re wondering, ‘why is she only talking to black women’? Well here’s why, because I love my people enough to call us on our own shit when we are out of order. That’s why. You see, we (black women) are the biggest offenders of causing dissent, discord, disrespect, and disregarding black men when it comes to Father’s Day as a whole. Now if you are one of those ‘I don’t do that’ people, then I’m not talking to you
WE support, co-sign, and justify the fuckery. WE are the ones buying those disrespectful ass hallmark cards (that ONLY market to black women on Father’s Day) that say “To Mom, on Father’s day”. WE jump our asses up to be on commercials that push broken home/single mother/ no dad present ideologies to the masses. WE are all over social media steadily harping over men who are not present versus celebrating and honoring the ones in our lives who do show wonderful examples of fatherhood.
And ladies, WE need to STOP.
This shit is NOT easy. I get it. I really do, because I am in the trenches with you. HOWEVER, until you grow a sack of balls and can shoot microscopic zygotes from them, I’m going to need you to have a seat and chill on Father’s Day. Yes, it’s thankless, and tiring, and double the work, but that doesn’t mean you are doing the job of both. There is no way possible for you to provide the masculine understanding and energy that is exclusively sacred to men. I can be the best mother in the world, but I still can’t teach my son how to be a man and that is okay. This is why I surrounded him with positive men I know I can trust, to balance out what I am unable to give him. Once again, Father’s Day is not for you. If you are a single mother then you should simply go EXTRA hard for all the double work you do on YOUR day (Mother’s day).
Ah yes, the Bitter Bitch Brigade. My do they go HARD on this holiday. This bureau of Bitter Bitches is often times comprised of angry single mothers or their man-hating counterparts. These are the ones who would rather give up a kidney rather than compliment a black man on Father’s Day. Some of them have their own daddy issues and are unable to look past their personal situation to simply tell someone “hey, you’re a great father, you encourage me, thank you”. Like Seriously, how fucked up are you that you don’t know ONE good father you can celebrate instead of bashing the ones who may have let you down personally. It can be a friend, family member, co-worker, anyone, but please stop it with the disrespect. I challenge you to be better than your circumstance and honor someone who deserves it instead of wallowing in your man-hate this year.
Ah yes, my LGBT Family, I didn’t forget about y’all. This is an equal opportunity read. If there are two dads in the home, celebrate them. However, your stud girlfriend is NOT your child’s father or ‘father figure’. I don’t care what your personal feelings are about that child’s father. It doesn’t matter how much your partner loves the child, provides for the child, or helps to raise the child. It STILL does not make them a FATHER. So please do not force your child to get them a card, gift or say ‘Happy Father’s Day’ to them. Don’t put your child through that confusion.
So, this year, let’s spare the good men out there being great fathers from the bullshit. Spare them from having to look on their timelines and see all the posts, insults, memes, and overall wrath of your poor decisions. Try to refrain from posting you and your kid’s family photo with the caption “I’m they momma and daddy” (you are not). Spare them from the cringe-worthy delight you take in posting dead-beat dad and ‘Child Support’ police sting articles on Father’s Day. Remember, this day isn’t about those who aren’t there. Hell, I know plenty of single father’s who do it completely alone, but you don’t see them acting up on Mother’s Day. They simply celebrate the good mothers they know and nothing more. They don’t rant and rave over additional accolades they feel they deserve.
They know their worth as a father.
So know yours as a mother, and let them have their day.