I'm Spiritual, Dammit

Jesus lovers need to be more loving

I was driving the other day behind a car with about four different Jesus themed bumper stickers.  Everything from "Honk if You Love Jesus" to "Jesus Saves."  Since this person obviously holds Christianity close to their heart, I was shocked when I saw them act...well...less than "Jesus-y".
I was raised Christian...(depended on who my Dad was married to at the time, but we started out Lutheran, then went Episcopalian with wife no. 2, all to wind up Congregational with wife no.3.)  While I don't attend church anymore because I feel you can reach God anywhere at any time, I do fancy myself to be spiritual.

So when this person with the Jesus Loves Me car started screaming at people and honking, I wanted to tell her to get a clue- or get some different bumper stickers.

First of all, she was riding my ass and honking.  I was going the speed limit, so she didn't have any reason to be so impatient.

"Maybe she's got an emergency?" I thought.  "I hope everything is okay." 

It was a warm day, and our windows were open.  She got next to me as she was passing and looked over at my car and screamed, "Learn to drive!"

What a BITCH!

Then she got on the phone.  This woman had a mouth on her like a trucker.   She spewed out more profanity than my relatives when they've had too many Miller Lights.

As we got to the next stop light, I was right next to her.  (Don't you love it when the person who just HAS to pass you winds up stopped at the light next to you?!)  She hung up her phone in frustration.  I unrolled my passenger's side window, and couldn't help myself.

"Hey- What would Jesus do?"  I asked.  Since that happened to be one of her bumper stickers, I figured she was familiar with the phrase.

She scrunched up her face, looked me in the eye, and said "Jesus would mind his own GOD DAMN business!"

Then she peeled off.

Maybe he would.  But I'm also thinking, and this is just a hunch- that Jesus would have refrained from swearing at whomever was on the phone, would never have honked at the car in front of him, and he never ever would have taken his Dad's name in vain. 

So to all you people with "Christ-loving" bumper stickers- do me a favor.  Act a little more like the guy you worship, okay?  Otherwise you'll start to give Jesus a bad name. 

And I don't think he'd appreciate that, dammit!



Recent Posts


Leave a comment


David Grotto said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

Maybe she just saw 2012 and was in a hurry? "Forgive them for they no not what they do." THAT'S the hard part! Love your blog!!

David Grotto said:

default userpic local-auth auth-type-mt

Whoops! I meant "know" not what they do...

Mel said:


Maybe it wasn't her car?
Just kidding.
Yeah, I hate it when people call themselves Christians but don't act like it. I know that I'm guilty of doing that sometimes (aren't we all?), but still, this story irks me.

Susan Blumberg-Kason said:


Amen. I am all for freedom of religion, because if we didn't have that, I wouldn't be here. But I find it insulting when people act like their religion is better than the rest of ours and that they are above others because they display these bumper stickers. It's like the yellow Support Our Troops stickers. I wonder how many of those people would willingly pay more taxes to provide better services to veterans?

Leave a Comment?

Some HTML is permitted: a, strong, em

What your comment will look like:


what will you say?

Most Active Pages Right Now

ChicagoNow.com on Facebook