I'm Spiritual, Dammit

The pageant controversy continues

I've gotten quite a few comments from people in response to my post where I shared my experience as a contestant in Miss Illinois.  I've been called everything from a "loser" to a "sore loser".  I really don't think I'm any of these things... but read this post, and then you be the judge.
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My frustration with the Miss Universe pageant stems from the fact that it glamorizes the "fake boob" look.  (Miss Universe 2008 seemed to have UPGRADED her boobs during her reign, showing a much larger two-some when she crowned this year's winner just last week, incase you missed it.)  Show me a Miss Universe winner with a small rack and a buzz cut, and I'll show you an affordable health care program for all Americans.   

So what are those young teens at home with naturally tiny boobs and no money in the bank for implants going to think when they watch that pageant on television?  

I'm not good enough, and I can't do anything about it!

This is upsetting to me.  Anyone can get into shape without surgery- but to think we can increase our bust by three bra sizes?  Not possible unless we go under the knife.  (Thankfully, I'm married to an "ass-man"..)

Now, Ashley Bond, a fellow Chicagonow blogger and current Miss Illinois winner, left me a comment saying that I was ridiculing people who entered the pageant because I "didn't think they were fit enough to be wearing a bathing suit."  Actually- I was criticizing the folks who ran the Miss Illinois Pageant for taking those contestant's money when they KNEW those participants were not going to make the top 20, or even the top 100.  Hundreds of women worked hard to earn that entry money, even though the "top 20" had been picked before any of us even entered the building. 

Do you know how many lunch shifts I had to work as a waitress to make 800 dollars??!!  It was just wrong- not because all the women shouldn't walk proudly on the stage, but because the folks in charge knew what they were looking for and took everyone's cash regardless.

Ashley also mentions that I seem to be against plastic surgery in the blog, yet in my comments, I mention not being opposed to a tummy tuck because I had a baby.  

Let me tell you- when you become a condo for a 9 pound 7 ounce baby, and you gain 66 pounds... (yes- SIXTY SIX) and your belly button is stretched from Evanston to Austin- if you want to get your mid section to look half way normal again- then MORE POWER TO YOU!!  You had a child.  Your body was not your own.  You have a "hall pass".  Trying to get back to square one after you give birth is not the same as getting bigger boobs to win a pageant.
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Jen- the "wide load" after having baby Britt


And Ashley also wondered why I would be embarrassed by the pageant.  

Ummm...did you SEE the sequined dress I was wearing?  The earrings?  The silly cardboard cut out playing cards taped to a black velvet curtain behind me???!!  I felt like I was in "Waiting for Guffman."  I only wish you could have heard the Master of Ceremonies try to sing songs from "Guys and Dolls" between his martini's.
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sequins and bad set decorations at Miss Illinois


I am a better person for having been through it- but I wouldn't wish that experience- MY experience- on any young woman.

There are many successful women today who have been through the pageant system and they are thriving.  Robin Meade, for example; former WMAQ reporter/anchor and now the morning anchor for Morning Express on Headline News, is smart, gracious and gorgeous.  (She's also got killer pipes- and if you haven't heard her sing- watch her in this youtube video from the Vic Theater singing with Richard Marx when she was in town last November..)  She was Miss Ohio, I believe.  Today she is an Emmy Award winning journalist.  She's also one of my favorite people- (Sorry gals- but she is as nice as she is hot, so now your husband's crush is even harder to handle, right?)
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Myself, Robin Meade, and Garry Meier backstage at the Vic Theater in Chicago


She would not fall under the category of one of the "pageant types" I saw bullying new contestants in Rosemont, Illinois back in 1994.  But she did a pageant and probably has great stories to tell about it.  Someday, I'd love to hear them.  

But my story, unfortunately, was not so great... so I wanted to share.  My hope in sharing was to make those women who DON'T have that "pageant look" realize that they'll be okay without it.  I sure am.  

And I'm really glad that I have a son and not a daughter who might grow up and tell me that one day, she wants to be in a pageant.  I just don't think I could sit through another drunk lounge singer butchering all those contestant's names between off-pitch show tunes. 

Please welcome, Jenniffer Weeee-gaaal.

But most importantly, I sure as hell don't wanna spend another 300 bucks on a sequined dress.


 

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2 Comments

elly said:

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Nicely said. I'm sick of seeing boob jobs everywhere! I also thought it was so appropriate to have Heidi Montag perform: she is absolutely talentless, and she's had a TON of plastic surgery to make herself look better and bigger. She fit right in. Hehe

p.s. Not all of the contestants were talentless, but I'm sure they don't do much other than look pretty and pose for pictures with various charities. As long as it's for a good cause, I could care less. But don't use this as a measuring stick for beauty.

Bludog said:

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Dammit!

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