A League of Her Own

Hey Cubs Fans: What Did You Have For Dinner Last Night?

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What's that? Pizza, you say?  Left-over Chinese? A Bologna sandwich?

Guess what the under-acheiving, leaving-everyone-on-base, 10,000-games-under-.500 Cubs had?

Caviar.

Now, while I will grant that caviar is about the grossest food product out there, both in theory and in actual taste, it is my understanding that caviar is something that people use to celebrate special occasions.

So um. . . what is it exactly that we're celebrating?

The Cubs have the highest average ticket price in baseball, so perhaps it should come as no surprise that the team served caviar in its pregame spread before Monday night's game against the Padres at Wrigley Field.

Manager Lou Piniella joked about the expensive delicacy to clubhouse man Tom Hellmann before the game, saying: "Hell, if we were in first place, we'd have a chef from France in here."

*FACEPALM*

Dear Tom Ricketts,

I understand your desire to make things "first class" up here on the North Side. However, what Cubs fans want is a FIRST-CLASS BALL CLUB. Not a first-class clubhouse, or first-class, bathrooms with first-class troughs, or even first-class food. We want a winning ballclub. Period. And frankly, rewarding a pathetic performance over the course of the season with a delicacy that most Chicagoans would never buy for themselves, especiall in a recession, is not going to endear you or this team to anyone.

Stop with the gimmicks and focus on baseball, for crying out loud.

I might post the rest of the headlines after I calm down a little. 

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82 Comments

sloan peterson said:

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Maybe the Cubs are celebrating how clueless they are at all levels:players,managers/coaches, front office. Either that or Lou wants to be referred to as "Marie Antoinette" too?

gravedigger said:

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I kind of don't care.

I mean, I'm usually the angry one here, but I've just lost the will.

JulieDiCaro said:

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that was my initial reaction when i first heard this story, but the more i thought about it, the more it bothered me.

i think i'm getting my second-wind of rage.

gravedigger said:

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Yeah. I imagine I might be more worked up if I weren't hungover.

flyball said:

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how is caviar a good pregame food? its hot out and they are in theory running and throwing, I don't think they are paying attention to appropriate pre-workout food recomendations

JulieDiCaro said:

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and seriously. . . how many ballplayers do we think really LIKE caviar (I can't help but think of Tom Hanks in "Big.") Ricketts doesn't seem to care about the out-of-touch-corporate-big-wig image he's gotten.

Doc said:

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In one of the stories...(I think it might have been the Muscat one)...Lou is quoted as say that he didn't want to try any of it...and had an italian beef instead.

flyball said:

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with this 1 move he counteracted the stories of him hanging in the bleachers

Doc said:

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a couple more years like this one...and I have no doubt he will be "hanging" in the bleachers.

Edelweiss said:

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Caviar is as appetizing as snot, and the taste is not that great. I come from the area where truffles are found, and I don't care for them, either.

Karen said:

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I had Lucky Charms for dinner and I gotta believe that is better than caviar...yuck!

flyball said:

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yeah my granola bar, it too was far superior

Doc said:

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chips and salsa...all the way.

flyball said:

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blue corn chips and pinapple salsa? yum

secdelahc said:

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I splurged and went out to Chili's for a burger.

Doc said:

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um...that's a bit fancy

plamorte said:

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I had Golden Grahams! (two bowls, I'm a growing boy)

Carl Heartscubs Gierhan said:

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At least it wasn't foie gras. Is that still illegal in Chicago?

flyball said:

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ugh, its back on menus

Edelweiss said:

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I like foie gras, but chopped chicken liver pate is just as good. Instead of force-feeding a duck to make the liver fat, just add butter to the lean livers, plus lots of onions.

summerguy said:

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I can't wait for the fans to bring this up at CubsCon

JulieDiCaro said:

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Mwah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhhhh!

(rubs hands together)

flyball said:

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its almost worth going to show up at every panel and ask about the caviar

JulieDiCaro said:

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I can't WAIT to ask about the caviar.

Doc said:

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It is obvious that the Ricketts family never watched the movie "Major League"...

They're coddling these guys. That doesn't work. You have to take away their luxuries if you want them to play better.

Doc said:

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Um...I saw the caviar story this morning...and for the first time I started to seriously think about giving up my season tickets.

sloan peterson said:

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I would prefer my left-over Subway sandwich,or my Jamba Juice I had for breakfast, but then I'm not so fancy as the Cubs...

Doc said:

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Julie, in reading your little letter to our dear Tommy, I realized that I'd really like first class troughs. If I have to pee in a trough, it should be a first class trough. The first class team can come second.

JulieDiCaro said:

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what makes a trough first-class? is it gold-plated? encrusted with jewels? titanium?

Doc said:

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yeah...that's pretty much it...and it has urinal cakes that smell like filet mignon.

oog of ulams said:

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As long as no caviar was shared with Ozzie Guillen, I see no reason to suspend any players.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Heh.

The thought of Ozzie's reaction to caviar makes me think of funny things.

Dmband said:

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So, I think the Cubs and I finally have something in common. I accomplished nothing yesterday, but still ordered a large giordano's pizza with mozzarrella sticks.

In retrospect I didnt do anything to "earn" that pizza...

JulieDiCaro said:

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I'm not complaining so much that they have to "earn" their food as I am that the Ricketts just continue to be completely tone-deaf in the PR department. Caviar is generally associated with celebrations and special occasions. Why the hell would you have it in the clubhouse for a losing team?

FrankS said:

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Maybe Tom has the same advisers as the Democratic Party because they are just as goofy when it comes to public relations.

JulieDiCaro said:

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The GOP is the party that dropped $50k at a strip club outing.

Edelweiss said:

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Maybe it is because Theriot is no longer here, and won't binge on it and the get the trots.

AndCounting said:

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I really don't like fish at all, much less at the egg state. If I'm going to eat it, I wait until it has matured into a fully grown stick.

I am not Kanye West.

JulieDiCaro said:

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i feel like caviar is one of those throw backs to a time long past when people thought haggis and blood pudding were delicious, as well.

Edelweiss said:

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Obviously you have never been to a Schlachtfest.

gravedigger said:

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When you tell people you don't like fish, do they respond like you are some sort of swamp creature?

Because I don't eat anything out of the water, and when I tell people, the response is frequently, "WWHHHHHAAATTT???? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!!?!!!!DERP!!!"

JulieDiCaro said:

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I don't go in much for fish either (even before I went veg), and people from MN think I'm freakin' nuts.

flyball said:

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I think a lot of people don't like seafood, I for one think its fantastic, fish, shrimp, blue crab

what does strike me as hilarious is my friends that will eat hamburgers and steak, ribs, and chicken wings, and yet think I'm weird for cracking crabs all evening

Dmband said:

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I think they were celebrating the fact that they are all millionaires and get paid regardless of performance.

JulieDiCaro said:

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I think you just nailed it.

Doc said:

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It's either that or the are celebrating the fact that they will have duped 3 million people in to coming to the ballpark and watching them pretend to play baseball this year.

Dmband said:

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The Cubs are baseball's version of the weatherman.

They can be wrong every day, yet still stay employed.

Max Power said:

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They're celebrating that Favre is apparently on his way to Minnesota, for his now-annual Joining of the Vikings. As a Vikings fan, I am not sure how to feel....

flyball said:

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I don't mind him staying in the league and playing, but can't he just make a decision?

Max Power said:

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There's a certain method to his narcissism. ESPN will be discussing it for the next several hours.

flyball said:

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I don't care if there is a method, its still annoying, if he didn't want to have to play in preseason games wouldn't it be easier to just say that?

JulieDiCaro said:

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Again, I plan to vent my annoyance vicariously through Lance Briggs and Julius Peppers.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Good Lord, what a prima donna. I can't wait until Peppers gets a hold of him.

Teebob2000 said:

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I don't get the vitriol directed toward him because the press/sports bloggers/people with nothing better to do make a huge deal out of his indecision every year. It's not like he's done a LeBron-like ESPN prime-time hour-long announcement special every year. The guy's just hanging out on his farm, minding his own business for the most part, it's the press that keeps this alive and kicking. And anything that comes from him I take that he's fucking with the pests that won't leave him alone.

The guy's taken a physical beating every NFL season for 19 seasons now. But he has such a passion for the game that you have to admire it. Imagine what a gut-wrenching decision it must be to put yourself through that pain again, or walk away from something you truly love doing and that has been your whole life.

I'm a lifelong Vikings fan and (of course) HATE the Packers, but I always loved watching Favre play, even when he was ripping my heart out with yet another final-minute drive and touchdown. I don't care who he plays for, I just want to be able to see the guy play.

JulieDiCaro said:

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it's because he can't make up his mind. keeps changing his mind. and arranges it ever year so that he doesn't have to take part in training camp.

Teebob2000 said:

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On the last part, I say, "brilliant."

JulieDiCaro said:

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In other news-we-should-have-seen-coming, LeBron isn't ruling out a return to Cleveland:

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/league-of-her-own/2010/08/hey-cubs-fans-what-did-you-have-for-dinner-sunday-night.html

Bwahahahahaha.

gravedigger said:

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LeBron refers to himself in the third person. gravedigger likes this.

Dmband said:

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Also, Lebron hasnt completely ruled out NOT being a huge douche.

Dmband said:

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If I were a Vikings fan, I would be ecstatic. Simply because Tavaris Jackson is really bad at football. With Favre, they are legitimate Super Bowl contender.

I would also like it if simutaneously, Peppers and Tommie Harris (if he doesnt get hurt sleeping) closeline Favre and literally remove his head.

JulieDiCaro said:

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this is what I told Max. Allen had to fly down and beg Favre to come back because they looked so so bad with Jackson back there on Saturday. Ha.

Dmband said:

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Im taking my talents to Outback steakhouse...

(if you havent youtube'd The Decision with Steve Carrell do so immediately)

Dmband said:

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Jared Allen and Bret favre in Mississippi?

I smell a reality show!!!!

"Good Ol Boys" Tuesdays at nine...right after Ice Road Truckers!!!

JulieDiCaro said:

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We have a Blago verdict.

I'm all on pins and needles. . .

JulieDiCaro said:

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Count 24 --- false statements to the FBI = Guilty

Guilty on the least serious of the crimes. Basically, you didn't get convicted of doing anything wrong, just of laying about it. Stupidest law ever and in complete violation of the 5th Amendment.

Jury hung on all other counts.

sloan peterson said:

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Wasn't the problem that they hurried up an indicted before he ACTUALLY DID ANYTHING? Because a certain newspaper was going to talk about the wiretapps?I'm from CA, where god knows there are enough govt crooks, but when I saw the guy on Celebrity Apprentice, and he couldn't even load a Cd into a computer, I said "How would have been able to do anything?"

JulieDiCaro said:

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yep. but his staff also testified that he said shit like that all the time and never actually did anything, that he was just showing off, etc. it was apparently a powerful defense.

Dmband said:

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Cj-

Is this count of "making a false statement" anything? (referring to the only guilty count) for blago?

JulieDiCaro said:

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I think it has a max penalty of 5 years and $25k fine. This is the same charge that Martha Stewart jail time.

I HATE this charge. It's so wrong that you can be found innocent of committing a crime, but guilty of lying about it. I also think it's a complete and total violation of the 5th Amendment. I don't have an obligation to tell the truth to the FBI. This law was enacted to be able to convict people of SOMETHING when prosecutors can't predict they did anything wrong.

Umbra said:

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How do you not have an obligation to tell the truth to the FBI? You can choose to not testify. You can refuse a search without a warrant. But if he actively lied about something vital to the case (and it was then proven that he did), I have no problem treating that as a separate crime.

It's about passive vs active...um...acts. You can't be coerced to testify against yourself, but if you agree to cooperate, you'd better actually do so.

What was he accused of lying about?

JulieDiCaro said:

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The only law enforcement agency that has a law like this is the FBI. You're 5th Amendment rights apply to every other law enforcement agency except the FBI? That's garbage.

Plus, it's really easy to say "just don't say anything,' until the FBI has a locked in a cell and keeps you awake for 48 hours straight and does God knows what else to get you to talk.

It's completely non-sensical that Martha Stewart could be found not guilty of insider trading but guilty for lying about it.

The 5th Amendment protects one's right not to incriminate himself. It doesn't say 'unless you decide to start talking.' I don't care what you've done or who you're talking to, you have no affirmative duty under the US Contstituion to admit what you've done.

As Joe the Cop said over on my FB page, if this were the law everywhere, he'd have to arrest every person who ever talked to him.

JulieDiCaro said:

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Prosecutors say they will re-try Blago on all 23 counts. One of the US Attorneys said "we can be ready tomorrow."

sloan peterson said:

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Illinois must be rolling in$$ to waste more $$ on this.Or is this so personal, that they will waste all this time/money to get more convictions?

JulieDiCaro said:

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federal trial, so the entire US is paying for it.

gravedigger said:

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For which I am glad. I am happy to fund things that provide me amusement.

Dmband said:

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ps. Doesnt everyone who's convicted of something, at somepoint make a false statement? Or is everyone just coming clean after 1 hour, like CSI...(all the criminals just admit what they did...priceless).

This is going to make me sound dumb, but what constitutes a hung jury vs. a mistrial?

JulieDiCaro said:

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hung just means no decision could be reached. mistrial is a procedural term that means the judge is delcaring the trial over. hung jury leads to a mistrial. just terms of art.

Carl Heartscubs Gierhan said:

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Also, Hung Jury is a great name for a porno. Mistrial is not.

Umbra said:

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Miss Trial and the Hung Jury.

(a-thank-you, a-thank-you)

Edelweiss said:

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You should have seen the Dickball video.

Dmband said:

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ok...that makes sense. thanks!

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