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Dear Baby Boomers, Everything is Your Fault

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Rob Larson

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I'll try and cushion the blow as much as possible.  Okay, here goes: I think that you are the worst generation in human history, and all of our problems--from the recession, to the energy crisis, to Conan O'Brien leaving NBC--has your greedy, self-absorbed name written all over it.  Think I'm wrong?  Let me explain.

The best way to judge a generation is by looking back at how society looked when it first took the reigns, which, in your case was about 1970, and then comparing it to how life is when that generation is beginning to retire, which should be now. 

Back when you all got real jobs (and I'm not talking about when you worked at a golf course for gas money, I mean a real job), life was pretty good.  Employment was everywhere, even if you didn't have a high school diploma, and America was still ahead of every other nation in every possible way.  Now let's flash-forward to today, in the United States of China, where a master's degree means you better look into getting a PhD.  You ran this country alright, straight into the ground, and you never found any more oil in the process.

Still don't believe me?  Fine.  Then answer me this, what's your legacy?  When all is said and done, what will you be remembered by?  And please, before you make me angry, refrain from saying anything about the Hippie Movement or Woodstock.  I don't see how dropping acid is anything to be proud of.  And let me get this straight: you decided to revolve your whole life around peace, love and harmony, and then you voted for Ronald Reagan?  And you called John Kerry a flip-flopper...shame on you.

And just for the sake of the argument, lets compare you with another generation, just to prove I'm right.  And what better generation to look at than that of your parents', the Greatest Generation?  They were, in mine and Tom Brokaw's opinion, the best that ever was (of course, they were responsible for you).

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This had nothing to do with you

Your parents grew up during the Great Depression, which meant they ate dirt for breakfast, lunch and dinner and had holes in their best underwear.  And what did they do? Nothing really. Well, they did beat the Nazis and usher in the Golden Age of America. You have to give them that.  Oh yea, and they also went ahead and pulled off the greatest feat in human history.  No big deal.  By the way, great job topping that one...Sorry, I apologize.  It's not like YOU had over 40 years to come up with something better.

The Greatest Generation earned their social security checks, but have you?  I guess that's not important anyways.  I mean, no matter how much I bitch about what you did, or really didn't do, you'll still have an AARP card eventually--if you haven't already started to destroy social security for everyone else.  And once you all retire, and finally hand over the jobs my generation so desperately need, Merriam-Webster will have to start the slow, very painful process of whiting-out the definition of "retirement" in all its dictionaries.  It's not like anyone after you is ever going to know the meaning of it anyways.
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Get used to one of these


But I digress.  After all, it's not like you haven't done anything for us.  I mean, you are our parents, which means you gave my generation life: you raised us, you gave us food and clothing, you put a roof over our heads, and you paid for our education--but what have you done for us lately, besides nothing?  But that's okay, I forgive you, I really do.  Because, when you really get down to it, we're young and you're old--not "getting older" or "not as young as you used to be", just plain old old.  Shouldn't you be down in Florida right about now?  I hear they have Matlock.

Respectfully,

Your Obnoxious Hipster Children





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5 Comments

Kurtis said:

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The guy who wrote this is a whiny douchebag. Was this column supposed to be funny? I am only in my early 30s, but even I know that baby boomers were not all hippies or dropping acid. And the ones who did certainly weren't the ones who voted for Reagan. Why even mention Reagan with italics? Reagan was one of the most popular presidents and deservedly so - history has proven him to be one of the greatest presidents in the US history.

The guy who wrote this is probably upset because he wasted four years getting a history degree and now he cannot get a decent-paying job because he really has no marketable skills. Rob Larson, welcome to the real world - your sense of entitlement is not going to get you anywhere in life.

Rob Larson said:

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Thank you for the comments, Kurtis. I'm deeply sorry you didn't get my sarcasm, and please let me apologize for my comments on the Gipper, or "one of the greatest presidents in the US history." I didn't know it was a touchy subject.
Sincerely,
A Whiny Douchebag

foxlor said:

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Well you seem to paint 78 million people with a broad brush. Every generation has their challenges and a general path to marriage, a home and children. You don't look like you have suffered much deprivation in your photo but your statements suggest an indulged panty waste that feels he has/is missing out on something. I hope your generation sets the world on fire with creativity and perfection but I know you will be no part of that process with your wailing dribble.

Venerability said:

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I'm glad the more rabid Tea Partiers are exposing their true colors and showing exactly the kind of divisiveness and rancor they stand for.

As I've been saying for quite some time in my popular series, "Baby Boomers-The Angriest Generation," there is an organized and concerted propaganda attack against Boomers coming from both extremes of the political spectrum.

And there is one overriding reason this is so: Whether we identify ourselves as Republicans, Democrats, or Independents, we Boomers are overwhelmingly Centrist in our political orientation. We are well-educated, compassionate Big Tent-ers, who believe in inclusiveness, not "political correctness" nor political litmus tests.

I hope Readers not yet familiar with my series will heed its message now. You might want to start with my piece on Anti-Boomer propaganda, "You're Decrepit, Narcissistic Luddites. Go Play Golf and Leave the Country to Us" http://wp.me/pxD3J-31

And if you're not familiar with my new series for and about Centrists, "The Rest of U.S.," here's a link to the Intro, "What Centrists Stand For and What We Believe" http://wp.me/PHjxC-7

P.S. The photo accompanying this story is a disgrace! We Boomers will turn 47-64 in 2010 and are at the height of our productivity, creativity, and attractiveness. That photo shows people in their late 70's, the age of many Boomers' parents.

(Dr. Ellen Brandt is founder of the Centrists Group at Linked In and the BoomerNetwork, IvyLeague, and Centrists Twibes at Twitter)

Matt Bailey said:

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Boomers,

You gave us Bush and Clinton. You gave us Oprah, being touchy-feeley and political correctness. You gave us depression medication, anxiety medication and ADHD for children medication.

You did, however, make it possible to live in the suburbs and drive two cars, while telling everyone how bad global warming is and how terrible the problems of the inner-city were.

I did like your music though.

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