Food Fight

Martin Luther Bling

I have a dream. It's a dream rooted deeply in American Pop Culture. It's a dream where spoiled white artists and spoiled black artists are free to embarrass themselves on MTV.

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I have a dream. That one day, right here in the streets of Chicago, where parking meters have made all of us slaves, a man will be judged not by the content of his character, but by the coins in his pocket.

I have a dream today. 

In my dream, The Confederate Flag will be hoisted proudly above The White House, where it will be re-named The Whites Only House.

In my dream, a respectfully silent, bi-partisan, joint session of congress will only see a black man as he sweeps the floor after a speech made by the cracker-in-chief.

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In my dream, Ellen DeGeneres will stay in the closet, never marrying Portia de Rossi. 

In my dream, Rosie O'Donnell will stay in the closet, never divorcing Kelli Carpenter. 

In my dream, Kanye West will stay in the closet, never releasing his break out album, "Prop Ate My Big Black Dick."

When we deny ourselves life, when we deny ourselves liberty, when we deny ourselves the pursuit of happiness, only then shall we live up to a piece of yellowing parchment signed by our forefathers: spoiled white men who had sex with their slaves, selfish white men who had children with their slaves, sadistic white men who never worked an honest day in their lives and got off on wearing powdered wigs.

Our founding fathers were drag queens. (But that's not a dream. That's a nightmare.)

I have a dream with drool on the pillow. A dream where crooks have bailouts, where big banks crush small businesses, where mining disease for wealth earns you the title of "Doctor."

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Stop Freedom's Ring...

When we stop freedom's ring and let cash registers ring, when we stop freedom's ring and let robo-calls ring, when we stop freedom's ring we will usher in a day when all of God's Children, black & white, closeted & self-hating, poor & morally bankrupt, will be able to shout out, in the ole credit card spiritual, "Not free at last. Not free at last. Thank God Almighty, even parking your car on Sunday, to fart around in Chicago, is NOT free at last!"

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8 Comments

vinvegas said:

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I have a cream. It's a cream rooted deeply in American Pop Culture. It's a cream I rub on spoiled white tits and spoiled black tits on MTV.

I have a cream. That one day, right here in the streets of Chicago, where sex has made all of us slaves, a man will be judged not by the content of his carrot stick, but by the nutts in his pocket.

I have a cream today.

Greg Morelli said:

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My 2 favorite things: cream & tits. Actually, my 3 favorite things.

Joey Morelli said:

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yes but...

Greg Morelli said:

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Yes But is the insecure man's Yes And.

vinvegas said:

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And im my dream, Oprah Winfrey, grows to an astonunding 575 pounds.
(click for the pic)
http://images.quickblogcast.com/2/1/1/8/3/147376-138112/fat_oprah.jpg

And in my dream, she continues to grow, much like in reality, only better. She eats Steadman and Refridgerator Perry at the same time. She grows to a whopping 1,233 pounds. She is now the Oprahnator. Latifa hands over the crown and Queen Oprah takes over the country, tossing all politicians into a crunchy salad, low in carbs of course.

In my dream, Queen Oprah marries Prince Charles and finally, he becomes a King. In my dream, they adopt Whitney Huston, but tradgically, she dies in a mad crack pipe fight with Bobby Brown.

And finally, as I am waking from my dream, I catch a glimpse of Queen Oprah swallowing Richard Simons whole as he's lecturing her over her failed Deal a Meal Program.

I had a bad dream.

Greg Morelli said:

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There, there. We all have bad dreams. Some just make a living off their bad dreams, like Kayne.

Babs said:

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"I had a dream"...make that a prayer. I prayed that some grown up Republicans with character (is that still possible) would stand up together and call for an end to the birthers, deathers and nutz in their party and ask for civility and intelligence in their discourse! An end to this "McCarthy" type tactics and a stand for some true bipartisanship! Where is Richard Luger, Bob Dole, Orren Hatch, Governor Christ from FLorida, to name a few? Where are the grownups?

Greg Morelli said:

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Grown-ups don't believe in God. Grown-ups don't believe in prayer. There's no such things as grown-up republicans, true bipartisanship and Jesus.

Just like there's no such thing as someone accidentally getting on stage to grab a microphone out of the hand of Taylor Swift. Now that's intelligent design. And good TV.

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