Food Fight

Amen VS O-Face

If we're going to ask anyone to abstain, let's ask our pastors to abstain from speaking. Unlike God, no one ever started a war in the name of Orgasms.

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In England, they launched a campaign promoting sex for teenagers. It's called "An Orgasm A Day." 

How do you like them apples?

There was a debate about sex on ChicagoNow. Garrard McClendon argued the merits of abstinence. Anna Pulley argued the merits of getting laid.

Me, I was annoyed I had to stop masturbating long enough to actually blog.
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In America, we impeached Slick Willie because he liked to keep his willie slick. Maybe he was following doctor's orders.

Sex clears the brain, re-charges emotions and invites your spirit to dance.

Unlike God, which warps the brain, zaps emotions and invites your spirit to put cash in the collection plate.

In my 20's, I dated Elaine. She was a dominatrix. You would think our home life was kinky. You would be wrong: it was loving.

Her job was so extreme, when she got home all she wanted to do was cook tamales, hang out and cuddle. 

One weekend, for fun, she re-tiled the bathroom floor, completely by herself. Elaine was remarkable. I was lucky to be her boyfriend.

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I have more respect for strippers and whores than I do for lawyers and pastors. 

Stay away from lawyers, it's a one-way screw. Stay away from pastors, they give lousy hand jobs.

Sex is a gift, whether it's free or on credit. However you get it, however you like it, try to get it all the time.

Hallelujah!

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15 Comments

Anna Pulley said:

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amen, indeed! well put.

Greg Morelli said:

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Hallelujah, sister.

Walnut said:

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And the people said AMEN...
And then they were ashamed for agreeing with the pamphlet.
And then the pamphlet was condemned to Hell...
So Sayeth the Shepard so sayeth the flock

Greg Morelli said:

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And the Lord sayeth, "Let the flock get back to flocking."

vinvegas said:

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And NAMBLA finally found a friend in Greg. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NAMBLA

Greg Morelli said:

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North American Man/Boy Love Association reminds me of Compassionate Conservatism. There's nothing erotic about kids. Just like there's nothing compassionate about conservatives.

Strike up a conversation, you'll see what I mean. There's nothing sexy about immaturity. It's a boner-killer.

Babs said:

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Okay-next topic!!!

Greg Morelli said:

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Your comment is so...North Shore!

rainbow said:

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hahaha

rainbow said:

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yeah greg, my mom reads this!!

Joey Morelli said:

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Preaching to your own flock pastor Greggie. We cannot have a food fight when the topic has a happy ending.

Greg Morelli said:

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I'd happily preach the Gospel According to Orgasm.

rainbow said:

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i love happy endings.

Tap Duncan said:

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First of all, great column, cracked me up, hard!!! Second, why does my password always seem to be wrong? I have to change it just to get in the comment...weird. I guess Bab's doesn't like this kind of talk, sorry, but I do!!! Hear ya tomorrow!!!

Greg Morelli said:

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"Family Values with an Oy Vey." Tomorrow 2-4pm:

http://www.chicagoprogressivetalk.com/programming/oyvey.html

Call in (773) 838-9278. No password necessary.

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