Black Jack

Sox win, I win, we all win!

With obvious grinding of teeth, my ChicagoNow Cubs counterpart, Julie DiCaro was supposedly relegated to not only buying me beers, but posting positively about our beloved SOX.  As I completed reading her weekend diary,reprinted without permission below, I was strongly recommended by my own inner fire to respond with mine own.

Julie's MEANanderings:
The following is a list of nice things about the White Sox:

1) I like that I can get sundaes at the Cell;

2) Ozzie has managed to make it to the end of June without using a racial or homophobic slur (in public);

3) The Sox didn't offer to sell the game to the Cubs (as far as we know);

4) The Sox were able to fill their park (for once) for the crosstown series;

5) AJ's jowels didn't flap as much as usual;

6) I give credit where credit is due, Ozzie DID help get rid of Jay Marriotti;

7) The Sox's latest "next big thing" shares his name with a far more talented and much better-looking footy star from across the pond;

8) The number of stabbings inside the Cell was way down this weekend;

9) The Sox have taken a public stand against employment discrimination against the elderly by bringing back Scott Podsednik; and

10) So far, no member of the Sox has been accused of throwing the 2005 World Series.

Ta-da!

The End.  (Keep reading for Blackjack's response!)

Well if that's how we're gonna play it, I may as well post my Cubs diary for the weekend as well.

1. Even though his start ended up in an 8-7 loss, Ryan Dempster avoided the wrist twist DL

2. Milton Bradley stayed consistent

3. Geovany Soto finally removed his homemade "watering can" bong from the backstop in the second inning

4. Cubs announcers were thrilled to report the oddity of Fox flying out 5 times to CF in a game

5. Many Cubs "fans" still showed up to Wrigley because it is "the place to be...right?"

6. Lou Piniella joined in on the heated attendance battle

7. Rich Harden's ass stayed off the TV screen

8. The Cubs' "next big thing"...oh yeah, forgot there isn't one

9. Cubs fan thrilled Ozzie is listening to Hilary Duff's new PSA

10. Big Z shows why they are called the Cubs (ie babies) rather than Bears 

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14 Comments

Batts said:

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love numbers 5 and 8 Jack! Pavano has been pitching like hot garbage and Gavin has been great. Lets keep rolling and make it 3 in a row tonight! GO SOX!!

Echo said:

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Number 8... Spot on...

BTW, when was the last time the Cubs WON a World Series? BWAH! Let's blame some fan in left field for their woes because they don't know how to close down an inferior opponent. Or maybe a goat...

Brian said:

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#11 It only took Uncle Lou two plus years to join in on the attendance side of the argument. At least the Cubs helped out with the Detroit and South Side economies while dropping two straight series. Congrats, Lou.

eriqjaffe said:

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Here you go, Cubs fans. Enjoy the basking.


Jimmy Greenfield said:

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Nicely done, Eriq. Very nice.

smwojoz said:

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I'm a Cub fan, but that was some funny shit right there. Well played sir.

Jack McDowell said:

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Well, I had to get back at Julie's digs!

JulieDiCaro said:

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I told you, I did the best I could!

Come on, the thing about AJ's jowels was funy. Admit it.

JulieDiCaro said:

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"funny."

we need an edit function on these posts.

Jack McDowell said:

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That WAS good TV! And you just need to slow down and type with two fingers like me and you'll have fewer typos! AND I absolutely love when Hawk goes silent...always have. he gets SOOO pissed that he can't even talk. And then it's something like, "That's just ridiculous, that's not gonna get it done." As far as what hawk wants you to strap down...I don't even know where to start.

Jimmymac120912 said:

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I love Julie's comment about Ozzie sending Jay Mariotti out of town. However I do miss Hawks tantrums on air about what Mariotti wrote about the White Sox. Didn't he call Mariotti a "Hine Bird"?

Jack McDowell said:

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What is a hine bird???? Although about Mariotti, I agree with all negative terms! Not only a shit-stirrer, but a liar, make-up quotes and scenarios kind of guy. Despicable at best.

Jimmymac120912 said:

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I think Hawk described a "Hine Bird" as someone that flew up his own ass, but dont quote me on that one. Just ask him at the next broadcast you two do together. Thats if he doesnt throw a chair at you like he did to Mariotti for your comments about Beckhams playing time.

JulieDiCaro said:

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My favorite thing about Hawk is when he gets really mad at the Sox and just refuses to talk.

Hey, this is a good place to ask this question: what is it EXACTLY that Hawk wants me to "strap down?"

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