Arresting Tales

Fireworks: a public service announcement

Except for officially-sanctioned professional displays (like the July 3rd display at Taste of Chicago) fireworks are illegal to possess or fire off in Illinois.  They are not only illegal, they're unsafe...blah, blah, blah.

You heard me.  Blah, blah, blah

Every year at this time we get subjected to a barrage of news items and public safety press releases reminding us of the dangerous and illegal nature of fireworks.  We know already.

I have always been dumbfounded by people who call the police to complain about fireworks on the 3rd or 4th of July.  It's like calling the cops to complain about your neighbors making noise at their New Year's Eve party.  Deal with it.  And I've also been amazed by the dummies who choose to light up their patriotic displays in front yards, or on the street, in full view of the police car that happens to be cruising by.  Come on fellas, a little discretion please.

Getting back to the warnings.  I'll go out on a limb here and wager that, in most of the really damaging fireworks incidents, alcohol is involved.  And guess what?  As a group, raucous drunks are not the best at heeding advice from public health officials and law enforcement.

Still, I feel like I have to do my part this weekend, so I'm presenting this cautionary video on the dangers of fireworks:


Key phrase to remember: "after leaning over a professional grade firework."  Duh.

Bottom line? Backyard fireworks are not safe, but if you do decide to stage an illegal amateur fireworks display in your backyard, for God's sake, keep your mannequins and your melons at a safe distance.

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8 Comments

Anna Pulley said:

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have you seen this lovely video? thought you might appreciate it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUvg87F2l4c&feature=player_embedded

WBSkeet37 said:

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I have no problem with the celebration of the founding of our country. The question I always have is why do the people celebrating the most/loudly seem to know the least about the founding of our country?

Mr. Brown Thumb said:

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LMAO.

But seriously you can get hurt even if you aren't using professional grade fireworks. I still have a scar on my bottom lip from an incident involving a bottle rocket when I was a kid.

Every 4th of July I always get nostalgic and start wondering what ever happened to a kid who used to live in my neighborhood. Most of his fingers were lost in incidents involving M-80s. I forget his real name but his nickname was 2:30 because he only had two whole fingers on one hand and three nubs on the other.

Joe the Cop said:

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Anna, I can't thank you enough. It's been a while since I sat down and watched stupid people tricks with fireworks. The best was watching the rocket snake its way up his fundamental aperture in slow motion. You know something? In my extensive research, I have yet to find a video of females engaging in this kind of behavior. I wonder why that is?

WBSkeet, huh? What? I can't hear, too busy yelling and blowing stuff up to celebrate the 4th!! WOOOO HOOOOO.

Seriously, I know what you mean. Thanks for stopping by!

Ben Meyerson said:

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As author of that "barrage of news items," I feel I should add this video to the conversation:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:165042

Joe the Cop said:

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Mr. BT, "2:30"?!? So much for my theory that childhood injuries are supposed to teach valuable lessons and toughen us up for adult life.

Skylers Dad said:

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As a young man I tried my best to kill myself by removing all the powder from dozens of black cats and putting it all into a Lego brick, making my own bomb. It exploded quite nicely, send a large glob of molten lego right between my buddy and I slamming into his parents shed and starting it on fire.

Brutally Frank said:

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Don't you all think it would be better to regulate what fire works can be sold and used instead of just making them all illegal and leting folks buy stuff on the black market that should be illegal. Kind of like banning all drugs instead of getting real about a little weed. Sorry people, banning doesn't work.

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