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The Li-Cub-ility Index

Alex Quigley

Former rock DJ, currently a multipurpose Chicago media guy.

It's been a little while since I concocted a cockmamie formula to randomly rank athletes or sports teams. I apologize.

I am a Cub fan. Always have been. And for many of my adolescent and adult springs, I've firmly believed that the Cubs had at least an outside shot at winning the World Series...or at least make the postseason.

Perhaps it's due to the three consecutive seasons of high-expectations-followed-by-letdown, or perhaps it's because the Cubs are mostly just another year older...but I don't feel that way about them this spring.

But that's okay. It's brought a refreshing sense of calm to watching these early-season games. Instead of pulling my hair out every time the bullpen blows a lead, I just laugh and think "Meh, whaddaya gonna do?"

With this newfound sense of detachment, I've been able to look at the individual Cub players in a more even-handed perspective. Instead of "OMG, VOTE ALL OF THEM ONTO THE ALL-STAR TEAM 25 TIMES" - which I did online in 2008 - I'm watching these games and asking myself, "Do I even like these people?"

Hence, I developed the 2010 Li-Cub-ility Index. Some ground rules:

  • To be considered, a player must currently be on the 25-man active roster (unless he's Ted Lilly)
  • To be considered, a player must not be in his first year with the Cubs (with one exception)

The Li-Cub-ility Index has three components:

  1. Length of service: the old saying is that "familiarity breeds contempt", but that's 100% wrong in sports fandom. The longer a player has been wearing the laundry, the more associated he is with that team in the fanbase's collective mind. (Ten possible points.)
  2. Success on the field: the better a player performs, the more we like him. The more he sucks, the more we want to throw Old Style. (Ten possible points.)
  3. Intangibles: the little things - both on and off the field - that can make us think "he's just like one of us!" or "what a great dude!" or even "what an ass". (Five to negative five possible points.)


From least-likeable to most Li-Cub-le, here we go...

(use left/right arrows at upper left if slideshow isn't functioning properly)



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*dan bradley said:



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