Tag: Parenting

On Mike Ending Treatment

On Mike Ending Treatment
This letter took me weeks of drafting, rewriting, waiting on changes from Mike, waiting on any kind of confirmation from appointments and scans… This is the most difficult thing I have ever written, and the thing I may be proudest of having gotten right. I am sharing it here because I think there is something... Read more »

When All You Have Is Time

When All You Have Is Time
Imagine a wave… I am twenty, and a behemoth of a man has entered my apartment. He is tentative, awkward. Not at all smooth, not suave, not confident, but smiling bravely. I can see I terrify him, although he outweighs me by a hundred pounds, although he’s a foot taller. He tries not to offend... Read more »

Colposcopy and the Hippocampus, or, Your Stress is Killing You

Colposcopy and the Hippocampus, or, Your Stress is Killing You
“You need to reduce your stress,” my doctor said. She said this at the tail end of a paragraph about all the things I wasn’t supposed to do in the aftermath of my procedure. I was not supposed to exercise, not even yoga. I was not supposed to soak in a hot bath. I was... Read more »
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The Inevitability of Hope and Change

The Inevitability of Hope and Change
I am standing beside my daughter’s bed, having a serious talk about school. She has no idea what her math homework is. She has no idea where her math homework is. She doesn’t pay attention in class, instead, she watches the students’ chats go by, which are silly and confusing. “One of the boys just... Read more »

Truth, Lies, and Selfies

Truth, Lies, and Selfies
Over the last three months, I’ve spent a lot of time on Snapchat. I know, right, what is it, 2012? But I have. And on my public Snapchat, Mike and kids rarely appear. On Snapchat, my life looks… kind of good. Lots of selfies (my hair has been AMAZING in quarantine, and between my eating restrictions from... Read more »

100 Ways to Die, or, Kids and Glioblastoma in the Age of Coronavirus

100 Ways to Die, or, Kids and Glioblastoma in the Age of Coronavirus
When the twins were babies, there was a tornado outbreak across Illinois, Iowa, and Indiana. For weeks the local news cycled back to it, and I remember vividly a story about the children of demolished towns playing “tornado” with their toys, making sense of a world full of chaos and destruction by turning it into a... Read more »
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Restlessness and Radiation in the Rain

Restlessness and Radiation in the Rain
The drive to radiation is wet. Unseasonable rain pounds the windshield, causes semi-trucks to loom larger in the inconsistent traffic. Mike is tired. I am tired. The radiation fatigues his brain to the extreme, and his sleep is interrupted over and over again each night. I am tired because I do not go to bed until... Read more »

No Rest for the Weary, or, Brain Surgery, Round 4, Fight!

No Rest for the Weary, or, Brain Surgery, Round 4, Fight!
This post was written very late at night on very little sleep, my apologies for any incoherence. You know what, fuck that. I’m not sorry. This post was written before I spent two days in the ER because the poor guy also has influenza A, and I’m just beyond guilt at the way I’m expressing... Read more »

There is no Doctor for a Broken Heart

There is no Doctor for a Broken Heart
If you follow me on social media (Instagram and Facebook especially, although also MeWe and Twitter), you’ll know we’re having an insanely expensive January, in terms of medical costs. Honestly, all of our Januaries are expensive, our health insurance deductible resets, and we start from scratch. Usually, we hit our $5K deductible in February. This year,... Read more »
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On Being There for Each Other

On Being There for Each Other
Four days out of the last seven, we’ve been at the pediatrician’s office first thing in the morning. It would have been more if they had walk-in hours over the weekend, but as it is I’m a horrible brute of a mother and make the kids wait until Monday if they’re not clearly grievously ill.... Read more »