Tag: Happiness

A Eulogy for My Husband, Michael Thomas Grover

A Eulogy for My Husband, Michael Thomas Grover
Everything I needed to know about Mike, I learned on our first date. He took the train from Evanston for dinner at my apartment, a tiny studio on the worst corner in the worst neighborhood he’d ever set foot in. We’d been talking online for months, exchanging long letters about everything and nothing. We wrote... Read more »

No Rest for the Weary, or, Brain Surgery, Round 4, Fight!

No Rest for the Weary, or, Brain Surgery, Round 4, Fight!
This post was written very late at night on very little sleep, my apologies for any incoherence. You know what, fuck that. I’m not sorry. This post was written before I spent two days in the ER because the poor guy also has influenza A, and I’m just beyond guilt at the way I’m expressing... Read more »

Our Community is Our Miracle

Our Community is Our Miracle
This picture contains so many miracles. See, all this week, Rivka has been talking about spinning her dreidel and getting a nun, which is what she wants. If you know the rules to the game, you DON’T want a nun, you want a gimmel, or a hey. But Rivka wanted a nun, because nun stands... Read more »
Advertisement:

On Being There for Each Other

On Being There for Each Other
Four days out of the last seven, we’ve been at the pediatrician’s office first thing in the morning. It would have been more if they had walk-in hours over the weekend, but as it is I’m a horrible brute of a mother and make the kids wait until Monday if they’re not clearly grievously ill.... Read more »

Sleeping Beauty: the Mom Version

Sleeping Beauty: the Mom Version
This being our third round of brain cancer surgery and treatment, I thought I’d have a better handle on things. At least, I thought I knew how I WOULD handle things. It turns out that in my old age (ha ha ha) my stress reaction has changed from blind faith and delusion to narcolepsy. I nap,... Read more »

My Twins are Ten Years Old

My Twins are Ten Years Old
Advertisement:

When Morning Comes to the Neuro-ICU

When Morning Comes to the Neuro-ICU
The view from my husband’s room in the ICU is beautiful. Greenery, architecture; water that shimmered in crisp blues before darkening into the horizon yesterday afternoon is now the heather gray of the lightening sky, reflecting the brilliant oranges and yellows of the rising sun. It’s beautiful, but inconvenient. Laying the in ICU, he doesn’t want to... Read more »

The Joys of Being a Big Kid Mom

The Joys of Being a Big Kid Mom
Last night, I held my six-year-old as long as she let me. Today, she is seven years old. I know I’m supposed to feel bittersweet or nostalgic about this, about all the birthdays my children will only ever have one time, but I don’t. Truth be told, I have been waiting for this day to come for years. There... Read more »

Living with Depression and Learning Self-Care

Living with Depression and Learning Self-Care
      The first time I heard the word “depression” and understood it, I understood that I was depressed. I was probably about eleven years old, and it put a name to the thing that had been plaguing me for so long it seemed my defining characteristic. I can remember people, adults, telling me... Read more »
Advertisement:

Hot Dogs, Birthdays, and Life's Big Questions

Hot Dogs, Birthdays, and Life's Big Questions
Yesterday was my husband’s thirty-sixth birthday. He has lived a third of his life knowing he has brain cancer. At some point in all of our lives, we have an existential crisis. A moment where we wake up in the morning and say to ourselves, “I’m going to die. One day, I’m going to be... Read more »