Tag: Anxiety

Gifts from my Husband

Gifts from my Husband
My husband’s ashes are in a very nice box on my mantle. I never expected to be the sort of person who said things like that. My husband’s ashes are in a very nice box, on my mantle, and it’s becoming a little bit of a memorial. His cousin sent him a Dad-Joke-A-Day calendar, and... Read more »

Our Last New Year's Eve

Our Last New Year's Eve
My relationship with December 31 has never exactly been pleasant. The first New Year’s Eve I can really remember commemorating was at my best friend’s house. She and I sat up for hours through the night as she sobbed on her kitchen floor, begging me to convert to Christianity because she didn’t want to die... Read more »

Colposcopy and the Hippocampus, or, Your Stress is Killing You

Colposcopy and the Hippocampus, or, Your Stress is Killing You
“You need to reduce your stress,” my doctor said. She said this at the tail end of a paragraph about all the things I wasn’t supposed to do in the aftermath of my procedure. I was not supposed to exercise, not even yoga. I was not supposed to soak in a hot bath. I was... Read more »
Advertisement:

The Inevitability of Hope and Change

The Inevitability of Hope and Change
I am standing beside my daughter’s bed, having a serious talk about school. She has no idea what her math homework is. She has no idea where her math homework is. She doesn’t pay attention in class, instead, she watches the students’ chats go by, which are silly and confusing. “One of the boys just... Read more »

Truth, Lies, and Selfies

Truth, Lies, and Selfies
Over the last three months, I’ve spent a lot of time on Snapchat. I know, right, what is it, 2012? But I have. And on my public Snapchat, Mike and kids rarely appear. On Snapchat, my life looks… kind of good. Lots of selfies (my hair has been AMAZING in quarantine, and between my eating restrictions from... Read more »

Our 13th Glioblastoma Cancerversary

Our 13th Glioblastoma Cancerversary
Thirteen years ago, today, I was sitting in my pajamas, scrolling through my Facebook feed, reading a spectacular number of messages from friends offering me their congratulations on my engagement. Mike and I had gotten engaged the night before, on the most perfect day of my life. There had been literal fireworks, of course, but... Read more »
Advertisement:

An Unfiltered and Exhausted Reflection on My Recently Deceased Sister

An Unfiltered and Exhausted Reflection on My Recently Deceased Sister
One of the most formative moments of my life was the afternoon my older sister first tried to kill herself. I was sixteen, a college student, in the middle of a studio art class I adored. My cell phone rang and I took it into the hall. It was my younger sister, in a rush... Read more »

Singing Diyenu in a Hospital in the Midst of a Plague

Singing Diyenu in a Hospital in the Midst of a Plague
This has been a hard month. Despite the difficulties, I am trying to be mindful. I am trying to be present. And because Passover begins in two days, I am expressing myself through pesadech trope. If they had done a successful surgery but I wasn’t permitted to stay in the hospital, dayenu. If I had been... Read more »

No Rest for the Weary, or, Brain Surgery, Round 4, Fight!

No Rest for the Weary, or, Brain Surgery, Round 4, Fight!
This post was written very late at night on very little sleep, my apologies for any incoherence. You know what, fuck that. I’m not sorry. This post was written before I spent two days in the ER because the poor guy also has influenza A, and I’m just beyond guilt at the way I’m expressing... Read more »
Advertisement:

To the Man Who Threatened My Life at the Pharmacy, on the 75th Anniversary of the Liberation of Auschwitz

To the Man Who Threatened My Life at the Pharmacy, on the 75th Anniversary of the Liberation of Auschwitz
Hello, sir. You probably don’t remember me. I am probably one of a blur of vague, snowflake, millennial types. Or maybe I’m part of a blur of Jews, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just one of the many people you must encounter on your daily to-do that make you seethe with hatred and rage, I... Read more »