When People in Your Actual Life are Actually Voting for Somebody who is Cool with You Being Set On Fire*

When People in Your Actual Life are Actually Voting for Somebody who is Cool with You Being Set On Fire*

This morning I may have had an icky exchange on facebook with somebody I thought I knew. And it may have resulted in a very long, very angry tirade about Donald Trump supporters. And I may have made the blanket statement, “If you’re voting for Donald Trump you are a bad person,” and I may have continued on that theme for several paragraphs.

All of which may have been a bit over the top.

So, I spent the whole day thinking about it. Literally, the whole day. I thought about it while I wrote other things, I thought about it while I cleaned up child vomit, I thought about it while I made snacks, I thought about it while I watched a little Buffy, and I thought about it while I lost it at my kids to brush their damn teeth before bed.

And then, after a little peace and quiet and maybe a little wine, I figured out WHY it bothered me so much that people I actually respect are not only supporting Donald Trump, but standing by their support of him. It felt SO PERSONAL, and no matter how much I wanted to say, “THIS IS PERSONAL,” the words to explain WHY it’s so personal finally came.

So instead of going to bed and getting a good night’s sleep before an honest-to-god Job Interview in the morning, I sat down and wrote why it sucks so much to have people who claim to give a rat’s ass about me in any capacity stand by their support of Donald Trump for president. And here they are.


So my post this morning was unquestionably angry, and now that I’ve had about a day to calm down, this is what I *really* want to say about Trump supporters- and particularly, Trump supporters I personally know.

When Donald Trump came to Chicago, blocks away from the first home Mike and I ever had together, on the streets where I walked with my children in the first years of their life, people stood on the street, openly joking about gay people and Jewish people while they waited for Trump’s rally to begin. Not subtly racist joking, OVERT, hate filled, unflinching, shouted rants about what makes Jews and gays less than human.

They filmed their own faces, publicly projecting their words and faces, and happily exclaimed that Trump was going to get rid of us, of me, the queer Jew.

There was more, obviously. They heckled Latino protesters, calling at them in broken Spanish and swearing. They sneered about terrorists and Muslims. But mostly, they gleefully derided the Jews and the gays.

And Donald Trump, day after day, courts these people. Says yes, those are MY people, offers to pay their bail if they beat somebody up. Tells them this is THEIR country, that they need to use their 2nd amendment rights to “do something” about people LIKE ME.

Now, some people, some people I know and care about and believe care about me, they say they support Trump, but they’re not LIKE those other people. They’re not LIKE the laughing, sneering, heil-ing crowds that gather at Trump rallies.

Only the thing is, if you’re pointing to somebody and saying, “He speaks for me,” and that person is pointing to the guy with the Confederate Flag neck tattoo cackling, “Which is worse, Jews or fags?” and the guy to his left giggles back, “Jews ARE fags!” what you’re saying is that THAT guy speaks for you, too.

You’re saying that if we were at a Trump rally, together, and I felt unsafe, and somebody said to me that they’d “do something” about me once Trump was elected, you’d say, “Yeah, that’s who I’m voting with. But I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t vote for the person who says he represents the most hateful aspects of our country’s history, and say your vote somehow erases all that hatred.

You can’t say your vote won’t be responsible when those people “do something” about my children, and my husband, and me. Those people who are already “doing something” about women in hijabs walking their babies down the street, and 69 year old protesters, and Latino teenagers.

You can’t vote for Trump because you hate Hillary and expect that your intentions make it okay when the neo-Nazis and Klan and other assorted “deplorables” wash into office with the force of the Tea Party and start enacting all the plans Donald Trump suggested in his folksy, off-the-cuff, definitely-not-serious way.

THAT is what you are voting for if you vote for Donald Trump. And you have to take responsibility for that.

And if you know that, and you’re voting for him anyway, yeah, you’re a bad person.

And if you don’t know that, you’ve been intentionally closing your eyes to what has been happening in this country in his name. And this close to the election, with this much at stake for so many people, yeah, that intentional ignorance might make you a bad person too.

I’m sorry I was so angry, but I stand by what I said.

And you, person who cares about me enough to consider reading this, need to figure out if you want to stand by what Donald Trump says.


*Not an exaggeration.



Read more about the impact of Trump on my life here: Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Teaching My Kids about Yom HaShoah
Read my latest post here: The Rape Boogeyman

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