Aggghhhh, is my husband the only one who can't find shit?!!

ME: Honey, can you get the push-ups for the kids?

HUBBY: Sure. Where are they?

ME: In the downstairs freezer.

(three minutes later)

HUBBY: I can’t find them. Are you sure they’re there?

ME: 200% sure because I checked before the BBQ to make sure we had enough.

(two minutes later)

HUBBY: Nope, not there.

ME: They are there. Go look again.

HUBBY: Are you sure?


TEXT FROM HUBBY: I can’t find them.

TEXT FROM ME: Keep looking.

(two minutes later he comes back outside carrying guess what)

HUBBY: Got them!

ME: Where were they?

(Because yes, I need him to say it)

HUBBY: In the downstairs freezer… I just couldn’t find them because the box was turned sideways and I couldn’t see the picture of the push-up.

I’m sorry, I should have had it facing the front. You know, in case you forgot how to read.

FYI, I did not say this last part out loud. I wanted to, but I restrained myself because I imagine this is the kind of stuff marriage counselors suggest you keep to yourself.

Oh, and in case you’re siding with him because sometimes it’s hard to find stuff in the freezer, THIS is what our freezer looks like right now. We just got this second fridge so it’s still pretty neat and clean and not stuffed to the max and VERY easy to find things.


Anyways, can someone pleeeeease explain this phenomenon to me? The phenomenon of husbands who can’t find shit. I mean I love my husband to death but THIS is what I deal with on a daily basis.


HUBBY: Honey, do we have any ketchup?



HUBBY: Honey, we need more paper towels.

ME: Uhhh, did you check where they always are?



HUBBY: Honey, we’re all out of milk.

ME: Then write it on the list… no wait, DON’T write it on the list. Not until you’ve checked the fridge to see if we REALLY need more this time. Because unless we’re the Duggars, I’m pretty sure we’re good for a while.


That is all. End rant.

Hey hey heyyy, check this out. If you’re in the Chicago area on July 22, I’ll be doing a hilarious talk for new moms and pregnant moms about the REAL truths of parenting and how rewarding, unrewarding, torturous, messy, wonderful and crazy it really is.

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Tags: husbands, marriage, push-ups

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