Archive for December 2013

Chain letters suck ass and should be illegal

Awwww shit, you’re not gonna believe what my daughter got the other day. Nahh, not her period. That would have sent me to an early grave. Or a giant handle of vodka. Although I hear kids are getting that shit at like negative-2-years-old these days with all that hormone milk they’re drinking. But I digress.... Read more »

Santa Claus ain't comin' to your town, Shlomo Baruch

So this is the conversation I had with my daughter last week. KID: How big are the elves? ME: Uhh, I don’t know, like the size of your Barbies. KID: What does Santa do if his sleigh breaks? ME: No F’ing clue. KID: Does he have a mommy? ME: No. KID: Santa doesn’t have a... Read more »

Dear Santa, do this shit or else