Archive for September 2013

It's like crazy hard to make new friends when you're a grownup

So recently something totally strange happened to me. I made a new friend. WHAT???!!! That like hardly ever happens when you’re an adult. Yeah, one day we’re sitting in music class introducing ourselves to each other, and the next day my family is going over to her house for dinner and my husband’s all like... Read more »
By Karen Alpert,
September 26, 2013 at 8:14 pm • 

Lice, I hate your guts, but if you're gonna stop by this is the weekend to do it

Awwwww shit, look what just popped up in my inbox. Dear Parents, A case of head lice was reported in your child’s classroom. WTF WTF WTF?! Welcome back to school! Here are her new teachers, here are the new students, oh and here are some nasty ass bugs that’ll crawl all over your kiddo’s scalp... Read more »
By Karen Alpert,
September 22, 2013 at 7:01 am • 

Can I make my son gay?

Okay, so this morning I’m trying to put my daughter’s hair up which is basically like trying to put the Tasmanian Devil’s hair into a ponytail when my two-year-old son walks up to me holding a hair band. HOLDEN: Pony hair. ME: Thanks Holden. Zoey, hold the F still. Well, I didn’t use the F... Read more »
By Karen Alpert,
September 16, 2013 at 8:37 am • 
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Ten tips to writing a kickass online dating profile

Okay, you guys are probably like why the hell are YOU writing this list? You’re not single. Well, not too long ago I was. Until I did that whole online dating thing and met my totally awesome, badass, studmuffin hubby there. So yeah, I’m an F’ing expert on this subject and I’d be an a-hole... Read more »
By Karen Alpert,
September 3, 2013 at 10:01 am •