Archive for July 2013

If you think about it, kids and dogs are pretty much the same, kinda sorta

Okay, so some of you may remember about six months back I was sitting at Corner Bakery and I overheard two men talking (Sorry, I have to eavesdrop because my life is so ridiculously boring) about how they just got a dog and how this must be what it’s like to have a kid. Uhhh... Read more »
By Karen Alpert,
July 29, 2013 at 9:05 am • 

Kate Middleton’s baby—the royal poop machine is coming

Holy crap, Kate is having the baby! I’ve been waiting for this day for soooo long. Yeah, I’m sure he or she is going to be like this totally adorable tiny little baby, but I also know something else this kid’s gonna be. A crying, shitting, screaming, spitting up, diaper-exploding poop machine. So how the... Read more »
By Karen Alpert,
July 22, 2013 at 11:29 am • 

How to make sure you never lose Baby Sideburns, you know, if you like me

Okay, so this is pretty simple. Look at your righthand margin >>>>>>> No wait, that’s just some stupid ad, don’t look yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not... Read more »
By Karen Alpert,
July 18, 2013 at 9:44 am • 
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Humping Mr. Baa Baa

So get this, my friend was telling me about this problem she’s having (and no, I’m not talking about myself but pretending like it’s my friend to make it less embarrassing, and if you’ve read my blog before you should know that because I’m like never too embarrassed to talk about my problems in front... Read more »
By Karen Alpert,
July 16, 2013 at 8:32 am • 

Monsters University is Rated G? My ass it is

So here’s the thing. As a parent a lot of the shit I do for my kids is actually for myself. Like I “let” them watch TV because it allows me get stuff done. I drag them to places like DisneyWorld so I’ll have an excuse to ride the nostalgic shit I miss like “It’s... Read more »
By Karen Alpert,
July 10, 2013 at 9:02 am •