Are you kidding me, another damn holiday? Oh wait, it's a good one

Happpppppy Donna Dayyyyyy! I’m sure you’re all like WTF is Donna Day? Yeah, I was too until about nine days ago. That’s when my friend asked me if I could write a post for the day that honors her daughter who died. See, now you can’t stop reading this or else you’re like a total douchebag who doesn’t care about this awesome little girl who’s not with us anymore.

Let me digress for a minute. So the other day I was standing in line to pick up my rug rat from school, aka freezing my ass off (oh shit, I just looked and it’s still there) when one of the other moms started to tell a story about what happened to her son last weekend. Apparently she gave him the tube from an empty paper towel roll and somehow he managed to cut the inside of his throat with it. Yeah, like he was bleeding and shit and almost had to get stitches INSIDE HIS THROAT!

I know what you’re thinking. This stupid mom totally deserves this for being idiotic enough to give him something SO dangerous. NOT. I mean, it’s not like she gave him an F’ing bb gun or needles. I give these cardboard tubes to my kids all the time. It’s that or spend $10 on a plastic horn from China that’s going to be way louder and more annoying than them howling through a cardboard tube. Although what really sucks is when your kid pulls one of the toilet paper tubes out of the trashcan and starts using it like a trumpet. Hello, fecal matter.

Anyways, I’ll tell you what blows about hearing this story. Now I can’t ever give my kids these tubes anymore. And we hear these kinds of stories alllllll the F’ing time. Like there was this kid who choked to death on a hot dog around here. Now I cut my kid’s hot dog so small, I might as well be Alicia Silverstone regurgitating food so her baby can eat nasty shit like kale and bulgar and other crap they sell for 9 million dollars at Whole Foods.

But I digress. My point is this. You hear these stories every day, and every time they freak me out and I make sure THAT will never happen to MY kid.

And then one day you hear about a kid like Donna. Guess what Donna died from. Not a hotdog or a grape or a sharp pencil or small magnets or even a toilet paper tube. Nope, her mom was awesome and kept all of those dangerous things away from her. And then what happened? Donna died from pediatric cancer. You hear a story like this and you think awww shit, WTF am I supposed to do to prevent that? There’s nothing I can do about them getting cancer.


There is something you can do.

Look at your kid, or at a picture of them if they’re sleeping and leaving you alone right now (and for the love of God, go poop alone while you can). And think to yourself, what if one day he gets cancer? Or one of his friends does? Did I do everything I could to help? And if you think I’m guilt-tripping you, I am. Because it’s important. Like really important. About 77 kids choke to death on hotdogs every year and as moms we’re scared shitless of this happening. Over 10,000 kids get cancer every year. One in 300 boys and one in 333 girls. And while there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. There’s a lot you can do to help it.

Donna Day is for Donna and every other kid who has had or will get childhood cancer. It benefits St. Baldrick’s. And if you’re like me, you’re like WTF is St. Baldrick’s? Well, besides the US government, St. Baldrick’s is actually the largest funder of research for childhood cancer. No shit. They’ve given over $100,000,000 so far. For people who are too lazy to count all those zeroes (like me) that’s 100 million dollars. Holy moly!

Anyways, the purpose of Donna Day is to have this awesome head-shaving event and then donate all the money from it to St. Baldrick’s. Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to shave your head. I love this idea, but there’s no F’ing way I’m shaving mine. It’s the only thing that detracts from my unibrow, sideburns, mustache and one-haired beard. But if you want to be a part of the event and get your head shaved, you’re insane. No, just kidding. You still can and you’re better than I am. But if you’re sane and don’t want to shave your head, you can still help.

Here’s the link to the event where you can donate if you feel like it. No pressure. I’m going to donate like $5 and skip Starbucks today.

Awesome head-shaving event you can donate to

And then here’s the link to the Donna’s story. It’s amazing. Warning, don’t watch this shit if you don’t have at least four tissues on hand. I just watched it and now I’m sitting in a puddle. And for once, it’s not pee.

Donna’s storysong video

And if you watch Donna’s video first, don’t forget to click on the other link after if you want to donate a little.

Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Tags: Donna Day, St. Baldrick's

Leave a comment