Archive for March 2013

The sound machine that makes me want to saw off my ears

When I first had my daughter I used to look in the mirror and wonder how on earth my right arm didn’t look like one of those scary-ass body builder’s with all those veins popping out and shit. I mean the amount of time I put towards swinging my little poop machine in that infant... Read more »

I Just Want to Pee Alone

I Just Want to Pee Alone
Question. Who’s your favorite mommy blogger? Okay, now here’s another one. Who’s your second favorite mommy blogger? Now who’s your third? And your fourth? And fifth? Dot dot dot. Last but not who’s your 37th favorite mommy blogger? What do you mean you don’t have one? Anyone who’s anyone has a 37th favorite mommy blogger.... Read more »

A letter to myself when I was single (and better looking, and wore thong underwear, and smelled better)

Dear Me when I was single and childless, Ohhh man, I remember what it was like to be you. Nuking a Lean Cuisine and sitting alone at the dining room table that was purposely positioned in front of the TV so you wouldn’t have to eat dinner alone. Now you may think I’m being sarcastic... Read more »

Are you kidding me, another damn holiday? Oh wait, it's a good one

Happpppppy Donna Dayyyyyy! I’m sure you’re all like WTF is Donna Day? Yeah, I was too until about nine days ago. That’s when my friend asked me if I could write a post for the day that honors her daughter who died. See, now you can’t stop reading this or else you’re like a total... Read more »