This topic has been the source of argument & contention since women joined the workforce. Do I leave my job to raise my kids? Can I work? Do I even have a choice?
I remember the mad scramble in the years leading up to having a baby. We paid off my car, but I didn’t get pregnant. We started in on my student loans, and I got pregnant. By the time baby came, they were paid off (Yay!) My decision to stay home was made easier on many fronts:
1. Those debts were paid off
B. Scott’s job opened the door for us to afford to (sing “The Who” with me here: “Let Scott’s job open the door oooh-ooh”)
3. The company I worked for was bought during my pregnancy and I would be coming back to a completely different job- and I wasn’t sure I wanted the old one anyway
IV. I really wanted to
We decided; I could do it. I did & have no regrets, well, other than the fact that now I wish to re-enter the workforce and feel inept, clueless and lost at sea, but that’s a blog topic for another day. Sigh.
One morning, newly unemployed and joyfully nurturing my baby, I saw that Oprah episode: ‘Mommy Wars’.
Working Moms called stay at home moms failures as women. How could a woman who went to college waste their degree to be home raising kids instead of empowering themselves?
The rebuttal- how could any mother leave their baby for a job? Family should be the priority.
Where do I stand on this? Hhmm, I’m not using my degree, am I letting down womankind? I’m home tending to this little miracle I waited 2 years for, and as I look into my soul, I know I could not have left her. But that was me, and not every other woman out there.
The whole show displayed mothers divided against each other, based on this personal life decision, and the two sides stood firm against each other; as if there’s no grey.
I called my BFF Karen who had her 1st baby one month after mine. She was going back to work (and if I had her job, I would too). I filled her in on the show and we made a pact that no matter what, we both respect the others’ decision regarding work. We still do.
See, here it is, years later, and it still bugs me. This topic belongs in the “What business is it of yours?” file. How can you judge (and condemn) someone for their personal decision made by choice or necessity? We have enough pressures in our lives between keeping our spouse and kids happy & households functioning, we don’t need fellow mothers piling on the pressure.
The Trash Heap has spoken (again!). Ay, Mama!