Report: Trump to Pardon Benedict Arnold

My usually unreliable sources at Faque News.conjob are reporting that a leaked  White House document revealed that POTUS fully intends to exercise his “Limitless” powers of Pardons to free from censure Benedict Arnold, as well as other controversial figures, both living and deceased.   Reporter Charlatan Mountebank has released  the  famous names listed in the document,... Read more »

Just Askin', Chapter 2

Some stuff has me mired somewhere between stunned and flummoxed.  I wonder; can you help me out here?. .  Why is it that  white men, when conversing  with a black men,  almost invariably  call the black men “man”. Just askin’. . Without Donald, what will late-night TV hosts do for comedy material now.  Just askin’.... Read more »

A Vaccination Program for America

Amidst our dizzying euphoria over  Trump’s resounding defeat and  Pfizer’s  remarkable feat, a dark figure may have slipped past a collective blind spot, The figure? In surveys, about 40% of Americans have stamped their communal foot like spoiled brats and–in the name of Personal Liberty–shrieked their refusal to submit to any vaccine initiative.  These are... Read more »

Just Askin'

The following questions keep haunting me.   I was wondering if you could help me with an answer or two.  For centuries, millions have been hearing  and believing that people  (mostly Catholic females) have been possessed by Lucifer who  has been inducing multitudes of them to  cascade green smoothies from their maws with the force of... Read more »

I Inhabit a Covid-19 Minefield

But first, a disclaimer of sorts: No imagination would ever mark me as a religious Jew. Yet I regard myself a Jew , and –though a non-observant one—-all in all,proud to be one. Sure, you will never spot me in any house of worship, yet: I am a Jew who worships the tolerance of belief... Read more »

A Very Personal Salute to "Stars and Stripes"

A recent entry in Donald Trump’s history of serial sundering (tearing the body politic into two hostile divides), plundering (his cavalcade  of  financial malfeasance girds the globe) and blundering (a near quotidian exercise for him) is his  recent  dunderhead blunder of attempting to exterminating yet another American institution, military newspaper Stars and Stripes. In a flash... Read more »

Announcing the First Consecutive "America's Worst" Awards

Throughout the 21st century, our dear nation’s tv screens have been bulging with first-place trophies–both real and metaphoric– in not just the  expected contests such as sports, film, journalism, music, etc., but less glowing arenas such as best bass fisherman, best cake baker, best tiger tamer, best daredevil, best bachelor/bachelorette, best survivor, best speller, etc.... Read more »

Proposal for a Harris-Trump Showdown

Forget debates. What American TV needs is a showdown between Harris and Trump,  in the following form. A SPELLING BEE Winner’s party takes over the White House, (Shh, don’t tell.  Im sure Trump supporters don’t watch the national spelling bees on PBS. Hence, they are in the dark (as they are pertaining to most everything)... Read more »

An interview with Ghisaine Maxwell

According t dubious information source Faque Nooze, their correspondent, Tosh Piffle, conducted an interview with sex-trafficker suspect, Gisaine Maxwell.  The transcript: Piffle:  Some critics claim that President Trump, in his favorable comment about you, was blowing a dog whistle to you.  What would you say to POTUS concerning the allegation? Maxwell:  Beg your pardon? It... Read more »

The Coming Biden-Trump Test-Taking Showdown

My usually unreliable sources are reporting that Joe Biden has accepted  Donald Trump’s Cognitive-Test Challenge.  With one amendment. Biden is upping the ante.  He has proposed that they  simultaneously take the current SAT test on national television, with Alex Trebek acting as proctor. After initially demurring  in  a tweet, “It’s going to be rigged,” and... Read more »