My usual unreliable sources here at Faque News Central report that they have recently received a document purported to be a Congressional Internship Application Form purportedly developed by purported members of Congress Gaetz and Green, and a certain D. Trump, who purportedly claims US. citizenship Following is the document outlining the criteria for internship eligibility.
To be eligible for an internship with any U.S, Congressperson or Senator:
. You must possess proof of having earned a high school diploma or less.
. You must have proof that you carry in public a loaded assault weapon at least twenty-five days per month, some exceptions apply.
. You must be trained at an approved GOP approved acting school to weep profusely on cue.
. You must be ordained a “Nice Young Man” by a former U.S. Head of State, and a “Very Nice Young Man” if your are wearing a “Camp Auschwitz” T-shirt at the time,
, You are disqualified if you hold an advanced university degree from any college headquartered in a blue state, unless the college is Trump U.
. You must, in defense of Freedom of (fill in the blank), have killed at least two humans and wounded at least one and counting.
. You must happily consent to have your photograph depicted on any NRA youth-recruitment poster.
. You must claim to be in favor of the BLM movement, although we won’t hold you to it.
Homos, Trans persons and many Asians and Muslims need not apply
Signature: Surname only required. No more than three syllables, no less than three.